"This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." Choices...choices...the only REAL choice is to just go ahead and be glad about your situation for the day. Oh, I know, it may not be what you would choose, but go ahead a make the choice to be glad about it. You'll be glad that you did.
A couple of days ago I was talking with a friend about a myriad of subjects. We were just catching up. The subject came around to our first experiences with the Holy Spirit, and I heard myself say that I had been crying out to God because I had been at the end of my rope. After we said our goodbyes I was reflecting on the conversation and remembered having seen an episode of Laverne and Shirley where they had to climb a rope in a gymnasium. A large diameter, straight rope was hanging from the gym ceiling and the students had to climb the rope and ring the bell at the top. That seemed like an impossible task to me.
The thought crossed my mind that my rope now is much longer than it was all of those years ago. It's not nearly so easy to get to the end of it... or even see the end of it. Not only that, but each of the tests and trials in life have placed a large knot in the rope upon which I can stand. God has marked my life so far with these rope knots so that even when my faith is weak or wavers, and I slip a bit lower on the rope, there are still other knots to stand on. The knots above also make it easier to climb back up...even when my strength wanes.
Regardless of how long you have been walking with the Lord, I challenge you to think about the times in your life where He has demonstrated His faithfulness. Each of these times when it was difficult, or so hard that you thought you were not going to make it, He was working behind the scenes and left a knot in your rope that you can stand on today.
In action movies when someone climbs a rope or crosses a rope bridge, someone always yells, "Don't look down!!"...just as the person being rescued looks down and becomes paralyzed by fear. Well, you are and I are the ones being rescued, but today the challenge is to take a long hard look down the rope of your life. Remember God's faithfulness and picture the vast volume of knots in your rope.
I am thankful today that God uses silly memories to re-assure me of His faithfulness! How many knots are in your rope? It is well.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Yes, I Said 5000
This has been a difficult day. Nick and I left for Vanderbilt about 6:00 a.m. We went through the usual drill of labs and chemo infusion. However, even though this is his 7th or 8th time to receive this particular drug, it was particularly hard on him today. We have been told that he is very blessed (something that we know, but that it's good to hear) that he hasn't had any pain from this drug so far. Many people, we are told, are so sensitive and have so much pain that they can not bear to be touched after this infusion. He is certainly not in that kind of pain, but he is in pain. He has been experiencing numbness in his fingers for some time, but now he is experiencing neuropathy pain in his feet. This is in addition to other pain and discomforts that have arisen over the last several weeks, and his just generally feeling yucky.
Up until today he has eaten well, but pain and nausea have put a cramp in his appetite. We have been told that in order to maintain his weight he needs to eat about 5000 calories a day. (Not a typo...five thousand.) That is more difficult to do than one might imagine. Even though he has been giving the 5000 a run for it's proverbial money, he has lost about 12 pounds since he first went to Vanderbilt.
There are many more details with which he is having to deal, but that should give y'all an idea of some of the specific prayer concerns. I really do realize that everyone who reads this has his or her own things to pray about. So, I just want to verbalize one more time that I am so thankful that you are taking the time to lift us up in prayer. Before this began I could not even have imagined how difficult a situation like this could be. How in the world do people go through the marathon trials in life without knowing Jesus?
Right this minute I am sitting in Nick's room. The only light in the room is from my computer screen and a sliver of light peeking through his slightly open door. The only sounds are the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard and his breathing heavily as he sleeps. I had checked on him several times since we got home about 3:00 p.m. He appeared to be asleep each time. So, I did not bother him. When Glenn got home I checked on him again and ran some errands with Megan. When I came up to give him his night time medicine I asked him if he had slept well. I found out then that he had been in more pain than I knew, and had had understandable anxiety about the pain. I asked him why he had not called me, or told me about it when I came to check on him. He said that he was trying to give me some time off. He was trying to take care of me.
After the meds and some plain noodles, I told him that I would stay until he fell sound asleep. There is just something comforting about not being alone. So, here I sit, and joyfully so. It is well.
Up until today he has eaten well, but pain and nausea have put a cramp in his appetite. We have been told that in order to maintain his weight he needs to eat about 5000 calories a day. (Not a typo...five thousand.) That is more difficult to do than one might imagine. Even though he has been giving the 5000 a run for it's proverbial money, he has lost about 12 pounds since he first went to Vanderbilt.
There are many more details with which he is having to deal, but that should give y'all an idea of some of the specific prayer concerns. I really do realize that everyone who reads this has his or her own things to pray about. So, I just want to verbalize one more time that I am so thankful that you are taking the time to lift us up in prayer. Before this began I could not even have imagined how difficult a situation like this could be. How in the world do people go through the marathon trials in life without knowing Jesus?
Right this minute I am sitting in Nick's room. The only light in the room is from my computer screen and a sliver of light peeking through his slightly open door. The only sounds are the tapping of my fingers on the keyboard and his breathing heavily as he sleeps. I had checked on him several times since we got home about 3:00 p.m. He appeared to be asleep each time. So, I did not bother him. When Glenn got home I checked on him again and ran some errands with Megan. When I came up to give him his night time medicine I asked him if he had slept well. I found out then that he had been in more pain than I knew, and had had understandable anxiety about the pain. I asked him why he had not called me, or told me about it when I came to check on him. He said that he was trying to give me some time off. He was trying to take care of me.
After the meds and some plain noodles, I told him that I would stay until he fell sound asleep. There is just something comforting about not being alone. So, here I sit, and joyfully so. It is well.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
I Will Never Waver, Slip, Shake, or Fall Away From Him.
We have had a couple of good days. I think that I am beginning to realize that symptoms and difficulties come in fairly predictable patterns. Hopefully, we are accurately noting, as disconcerting events befall us, that we have experienced this particular thing before, and it too shall pass. Yesterday afternoon Nick seemed as close to normal as I had seen him in a while. He walked and climbed the stairs easily. He laughed and played a computer game. Let me just say...this did a Mom's heart good.
Megan and Nick just left for Vandy. A day to myself will be nice. Today is the day that he gets the specific chemo that caused the clotting problems the last time. It's no big deal to receive the chemo, but I would appreciate prayer cover so that it would not ravage his clotting system like before. It just needs to get to work and target those rogue white cells that are behaving badly! Any side effects that don't get slammed by the prayer cover would not show up until next week.
Perspective is such a huge factor in all of life. Psalm 30:5 came to mind as I pondered this morning: "For His anger endureth but a moment; in His favour is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." I used the King James version because it coincides with the Hebrew concordance that I use. I looked this scripture up because I remembered the part about weeping and joy coming. However, I don't know that I had even noticed the part that said, "in His favour is life." The word that is translated "favour" literally means "delight." The root word of "delight" means "to be pleased with; specifically to satisfy a debt; to be acceptable."
I did lots of scripture digging this morning. So, I'll just share with you what I dug out of Psalm 30:1-6. It's my perspective for the day.
Psalm 30:1-6 (Lori Taylor Scripture Digging version)
1 I will praise you Lord. You have lifted me away from danger, and not let any haters find joy in my situation.
2 O Lord, my God. I shouted to You because of my lack of freedom, and you showed up, not only as the Great Physician, but you mended and cured me in every way possible.
3 O Lord, you brought up the very essence of who I am from the pit of hell, and You have kept me alive, revived, and repaired so that I will not go back to that prison.
4 Sing praises to the Lord everyone. Give thanks every time you remember how clean and Holy that He really is.
5 If He gets angry it only lasts for the blink of an eye. When I delight in Him and He delights in me - I am alive, fresh, strong, repaired, and nourished. There will be times of sadness and trouble, but they will be followed quickly by joy...just as assuredly as the morning follows the night.
6 And in my security in the faithfulness of God I said, I will never waver, slip, shake, or fall away from Him.
Given the above, how can it not be well? It is well.
Megan and Nick just left for Vandy. A day to myself will be nice. Today is the day that he gets the specific chemo that caused the clotting problems the last time. It's no big deal to receive the chemo, but I would appreciate prayer cover so that it would not ravage his clotting system like before. It just needs to get to work and target those rogue white cells that are behaving badly! Any side effects that don't get slammed by the prayer cover would not show up until next week.
Perspective is such a huge factor in all of life. Psalm 30:5 came to mind as I pondered this morning: "For His anger endureth but a moment; in His favour is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." I used the King James version because it coincides with the Hebrew concordance that I use. I looked this scripture up because I remembered the part about weeping and joy coming. However, I don't know that I had even noticed the part that said, "in His favour is life." The word that is translated "favour" literally means "delight." The root word of "delight" means "to be pleased with; specifically to satisfy a debt; to be acceptable."
I did lots of scripture digging this morning. So, I'll just share with you what I dug out of Psalm 30:1-6. It's my perspective for the day.
Psalm 30:1-6 (Lori Taylor Scripture Digging version)
1 I will praise you Lord. You have lifted me away from danger, and not let any haters find joy in my situation.
2 O Lord, my God. I shouted to You because of my lack of freedom, and you showed up, not only as the Great Physician, but you mended and cured me in every way possible.
3 O Lord, you brought up the very essence of who I am from the pit of hell, and You have kept me alive, revived, and repaired so that I will not go back to that prison.
4 Sing praises to the Lord everyone. Give thanks every time you remember how clean and Holy that He really is.
5 If He gets angry it only lasts for the blink of an eye. When I delight in Him and He delights in me - I am alive, fresh, strong, repaired, and nourished. There will be times of sadness and trouble, but they will be followed quickly by joy...just as assuredly as the morning follows the night.
6 And in my security in the faithfulness of God I said, I will never waver, slip, shake, or fall away from Him.
Given the above, how can it not be well? It is well.
Monday, July 25, 2011
"Kiss the Son, Lest He Be Angry..."
This has been a particularly difficult weekend. The previous statement is true. However, I do not necessary understand why it is true. I am learning so much while walking through this trail with my family, and it is glaringly obvious how much more there may be to learn. There is no manual for how one will feel or react in any given moment or situation when one's child has a "catastrophic" illness.
Early on in this process, Nick was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago, we were all walking in such grace and peace. I really felt as though God were carrying me. Please do not misunderstand, we are still smack dab in the middle of the peace that passes understanding. God IS FAITHFUL! However, especially this weekend, I have gone through a time where, as my Nana would have said, "I was as weak as water." We did have some added trials during the last week. Nick started having some episodes that were more than a bit disconcerting, and those still have not been fully explained. He would say to me, in a slowed voice, "Mom, something is very wrong. I'm scared." Just by looking at and listening to him I could tell that things were not right. It was a helpless feeling. I did all of my nurse-wanna-be evaluations: BP,temp,pulses,pupil reactions,strength tests, mental status orientation, listened to his heart & lungs,skin color,capillary refill..etc. I couldn't find anything, to explain what was happening, but it was happening none-the-less. There is more to it than that, but that gives you the picture from both his and our sides.
The longest episode was Friday night. We went to the JMCGH E.R., and they admitted him, but thankfully found no pathological reason for the episodes. It is probably related to the chemo and steroids. That is a much better answer than the other possibilities. He came home again Saturday evening.
During my time with the Lord this morning I felt lead to read Psalm 2. It's a Psalm (obviously from the Old Testament) about kings and rulers of the earth setting up rebellious plans "without a chance of success" against Jesus, Himself. This Psalm affirms that Jesus is the Son of God, and clearly states that as men plot evil, He laughs at them from Heaven. The Line,"12 Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way..." has new meaning to me today. The word, kiss, in that verse literally means to attachment yourself. It is basically saying that without intimately attaching ourselves to Jesus we will perish. It also goes on to say, "12....Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him."
I can tell you, from the center of the battle, that I am so thankful for the grace of God that made it possible to enter this season of our lives already attached to Jesus. We don't have the strength on our own. II Corinthians 12:9 has been a favorite verse of mine for as long has I can remember: "And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
If you find yourself reading this today without an intimate attachment to Jesus...this is the day. He died a horrible death on the cross...literally gave His life so that you could have the opportunity of eternal life. He then rose again to life after three days. You don't have to be cleaned up and sin-free to come to Him. Starting this intimate relationship with Him is as easy as believing that He is the Son of God and that He gave His life for you, and admitting to Him that you need Him to be your Savior. The Bible says that when you believe, you become a new creation. He will help and guide you into living that "cleaned up" life as your relationship progresses.
Everyone's life has trials. Go ahead and attach to Him today. It is well!
Early on in this process, Nick was diagnosed about 6 weeks ago, we were all walking in such grace and peace. I really felt as though God were carrying me. Please do not misunderstand, we are still smack dab in the middle of the peace that passes understanding. God IS FAITHFUL! However, especially this weekend, I have gone through a time where, as my Nana would have said, "I was as weak as water." We did have some added trials during the last week. Nick started having some episodes that were more than a bit disconcerting, and those still have not been fully explained. He would say to me, in a slowed voice, "Mom, something is very wrong. I'm scared." Just by looking at and listening to him I could tell that things were not right. It was a helpless feeling. I did all of my nurse-wanna-be evaluations: BP,temp,pulses,pupil reactions,strength tests, mental status orientation, listened to his heart & lungs,skin color,capillary refill..etc. I couldn't find anything, to explain what was happening, but it was happening none-the-less. There is more to it than that, but that gives you the picture from both his and our sides.
The longest episode was Friday night. We went to the JMCGH E.R., and they admitted him, but thankfully found no pathological reason for the episodes. It is probably related to the chemo and steroids. That is a much better answer than the other possibilities. He came home again Saturday evening.
During my time with the Lord this morning I felt lead to read Psalm 2. It's a Psalm (obviously from the Old Testament) about kings and rulers of the earth setting up rebellious plans "without a chance of success" against Jesus, Himself. This Psalm affirms that Jesus is the Son of God, and clearly states that as men plot evil, He laughs at them from Heaven. The Line,"12 Kiss the Son, lest He be angry, and you perish in the way..." has new meaning to me today. The word, kiss, in that verse literally means to attachment yourself. It is basically saying that without intimately attaching ourselves to Jesus we will perish. It also goes on to say, "12....Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him."
I can tell you, from the center of the battle, that I am so thankful for the grace of God that made it possible to enter this season of our lives already attached to Jesus. We don't have the strength on our own. II Corinthians 12:9 has been a favorite verse of mine for as long has I can remember: "And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee; for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
If you find yourself reading this today without an intimate attachment to Jesus...this is the day. He died a horrible death on the cross...literally gave His life so that you could have the opportunity of eternal life. He then rose again to life after three days. You don't have to be cleaned up and sin-free to come to Him. Starting this intimate relationship with Him is as easy as believing that He is the Son of God and that He gave His life for you, and admitting to Him that you need Him to be your Savior. The Bible says that when you believe, you become a new creation. He will help and guide you into living that "cleaned up" life as your relationship progresses.
Everyone's life has trials. Go ahead and attach to Him today. It is well!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig
We are home once again. We shouldn't have to go back until next Tuesday. Because of the colonies of Leukemia cells that were found on the flow cytometry, Nick will have to undergo a couple more weeks of the initial types of chemotherapy. They have also prescribed that his doses of steroids be bumped sky high again...which means that we will have to begin again on the weening process. Part of the reason for this may be that he is being treated with the pediatric protocol, but, at 22, he is on the cusp between pediatric patient and adult patient. They usually follow the pediatric protocol for anyone under 26. (I don't know why that is, but people much smarter than I have deemed it to be so.)
The chemo that he will receive next Tuesday is the one that has caused him all of the problems with clotting. It doesn't produce the same effects in everyone. So, lets just all agree in prayer that this round will not produce the same side effects. The good thing about this is that we are all aware of how it affected him before. So, God's visible intervention on this matter or not...he will be fine. Sometimes God's intervention shows up in wisdom learned from past trials. (Wow, I needed to hear what I just typed...for a number or reasons!)
Today has been good and peaceful. The nurses at Vandy accessed Nick's new port for the first time. (They stuck a needle through his skin into the port.) It was painful because the site is covered in a deep purple bruise, but when it heals it should be an easy thing to endure.
Can I just tell y'all that I dearly love this young man. I have always felt that I had a good relationship with all three of our children. I love and cherish them all! God has made mighty and men and women of God out of them, in spite of our short comings as parents. They are all so very different, but are alike in a number of ways as well. I guess that it may have been easier over the years for me to understand our girls, because I am a girl. (I know...I'm using the term as a gender denotation...not an age indicator.) However, this time period has given me a unique opportunity to get to know our son in ways that I'm not sure I would otherwise have been given. He is deep, kind, tough as nails, intelligent, patient, wise, and transparent. I'm sure that this situation has probably matured many of those qualities, but they are accurate descriptors of who he is. I see Jesus in him. It is well!
The chemo that he will receive next Tuesday is the one that has caused him all of the problems with clotting. It doesn't produce the same effects in everyone. So, lets just all agree in prayer that this round will not produce the same side effects. The good thing about this is that we are all aware of how it affected him before. So, God's visible intervention on this matter or not...he will be fine. Sometimes God's intervention shows up in wisdom learned from past trials. (Wow, I needed to hear what I just typed...for a number or reasons!)
Today has been good and peaceful. The nurses at Vandy accessed Nick's new port for the first time. (They stuck a needle through his skin into the port.) It was painful because the site is covered in a deep purple bruise, but when it heals it should be an easy thing to endure.
Can I just tell y'all that I dearly love this young man. I have always felt that I had a good relationship with all three of our children. I love and cherish them all! God has made mighty and men and women of God out of them, in spite of our short comings as parents. They are all so very different, but are alike in a number of ways as well. I guess that it may have been easier over the years for me to understand our girls, because I am a girl. (I know...I'm using the term as a gender denotation...not an age indicator.) However, this time period has given me a unique opportunity to get to know our son in ways that I'm not sure I would otherwise have been given. He is deep, kind, tough as nails, intelligent, patient, wise, and transparent. I'm sure that this situation has probably matured many of those qualities, but they are accurate descriptors of who he is. I see Jesus in him. It is well!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Possible Leotards and a Cape??
Here we are back at Vanderbilt. We are currently in the pre-op holding area waiting for them to take Nick to have a power port installed. I may have to get busy and make him a super hero leotard and cape. A power port sounds like an addition that would certainly warrant at least a cape??!! I'll have to confirm that with Nick as soon as he regains his full faculties after the procedure.
A power port is a small non-reactive metal cup with a thick silicone plug on the front and a catheter extending from the side. The cup will be placed under Nick's skin, just below his right collar bone. The catheter will be placed inside one of the large veins leading to his heart. When he receives chemo or needs blood drawn for the next three years, it will only take a needle stick through his skin and through the silicone plug. This is much easier and less painful to deal with than repeated IV's or a Picc line. Because the port will be under his skin, he will be able to take a shower without being taped up, and it will remain sterile. The "power" part of this port means that it can be used for procedures that require a quick rate of infusion...like a CT with contrast.
I haven't written in a few days because I just simply did not feel like writing. We found out Tuesday that the bone marrow biopsy that he had last Friday showed some leukemia cell colonies on the more sensitive flow cytometry test...which means that he is not in deep remission yet. I am certainly thankful for the more accurate tests. Nick's Dr. made the comment that several years ago he would have just assumed that deep remission had been achieved, and the assumption might have had serious consequences. It's good to know the facts and be able to act upon them with wisdom. However, I would not be telling the truth if I said that I was not experiencing some less than pleasant emotions. I still know that this will all be O.K., but I want it all to be O.K. NOW!! How's that for being honest??
(I wrote the first part of this earlier in the day)
Nick is now finished with the day. We are at a hotel. We didn't pack to stay in town, so we had no pillows to be able to stay at the condo. (I use a lot of pillows.) Before they took him back for the port installation he had some unusual neuro symptoms. The port was successful, but the neuro stuff was not peaceful at all! We ended up having a head CT this evening, and will find out results tomorrow.
While he was getting the port, I went to the cafeteria. (I had handled all of the scary stuff with supportive grace and pastor-like peace.) It was about 2:00 and neither of us had eaten all day. I got some chicken, sweet potatoes, and a Dr. Pepper, and sat down for a peaceful moment. I took one bite, and opened the Dr. Pepper...KABLOOOOOW! It exploded...wet from head to toe...sandals squishing with sticky wetness. That is when I lost it. The ugly cry began in earnest. I couldn't carry my meal, the remaining Dr. Pepper, and my bags at the same time. So, I left the food and went to the napkin station. Crying loudly, mascara running, squeaking and squishing with every step, I used nearly an entire hospital sized napkin dispenser trying to sop up my blouse, skirt, face, hair and shoes. The people around me must have thought, "Boy, she really loved that Dr. Pepper." I thought I had myself together, so I headed back to post-op. I stepped out into the hall walking with a passion, and lost it again. Do you know how long that hall is? It must be 10 city blocks long (slight exaggeration.) It was like the scene in Alice in Wonderland where the perspective of the hall changes. It kept getting longer and longer. I thought it would never end...but it finally did, and I survived.
At the end of this day, I am thankful for the tension release that a good cry brings. I still want this chapter in our lives to end well now, but I realize once again that when God requires us to wait it is not the same as His saying no. "Wait," just brings the result in His perfect timing. I am thankful that my son is comfortable in his bed with the remnants of pasta that he greatly enjoyed clinging to his t-shirt. (We didn't bring changes of clothing.) I am so very thankful that God is God, and that I am not! It is well!
A power port is a small non-reactive metal cup with a thick silicone plug on the front and a catheter extending from the side. The cup will be placed under Nick's skin, just below his right collar bone. The catheter will be placed inside one of the large veins leading to his heart. When he receives chemo or needs blood drawn for the next three years, it will only take a needle stick through his skin and through the silicone plug. This is much easier and less painful to deal with than repeated IV's or a Picc line. Because the port will be under his skin, he will be able to take a shower without being taped up, and it will remain sterile. The "power" part of this port means that it can be used for procedures that require a quick rate of infusion...like a CT with contrast.
I haven't written in a few days because I just simply did not feel like writing. We found out Tuesday that the bone marrow biopsy that he had last Friday showed some leukemia cell colonies on the more sensitive flow cytometry test...which means that he is not in deep remission yet. I am certainly thankful for the more accurate tests. Nick's Dr. made the comment that several years ago he would have just assumed that deep remission had been achieved, and the assumption might have had serious consequences. It's good to know the facts and be able to act upon them with wisdom. However, I would not be telling the truth if I said that I was not experiencing some less than pleasant emotions. I still know that this will all be O.K., but I want it all to be O.K. NOW!! How's that for being honest??
(I wrote the first part of this earlier in the day)
Nick is now finished with the day. We are at a hotel. We didn't pack to stay in town, so we had no pillows to be able to stay at the condo. (I use a lot of pillows.) Before they took him back for the port installation he had some unusual neuro symptoms. The port was successful, but the neuro stuff was not peaceful at all! We ended up having a head CT this evening, and will find out results tomorrow.
While he was getting the port, I went to the cafeteria. (I had handled all of the scary stuff with supportive grace and pastor-like peace.) It was about 2:00 and neither of us had eaten all day. I got some chicken, sweet potatoes, and a Dr. Pepper, and sat down for a peaceful moment. I took one bite, and opened the Dr. Pepper...KABLOOOOOW! It exploded...wet from head to toe...sandals squishing with sticky wetness. That is when I lost it. The ugly cry began in earnest. I couldn't carry my meal, the remaining Dr. Pepper, and my bags at the same time. So, I left the food and went to the napkin station. Crying loudly, mascara running, squeaking and squishing with every step, I used nearly an entire hospital sized napkin dispenser trying to sop up my blouse, skirt, face, hair and shoes. The people around me must have thought, "Boy, she really loved that Dr. Pepper." I thought I had myself together, so I headed back to post-op. I stepped out into the hall walking with a passion, and lost it again. Do you know how long that hall is? It must be 10 city blocks long (slight exaggeration.) It was like the scene in Alice in Wonderland where the perspective of the hall changes. It kept getting longer and longer. I thought it would never end...but it finally did, and I survived.
At the end of this day, I am thankful for the tension release that a good cry brings. I still want this chapter in our lives to end well now, but I realize once again that when God requires us to wait it is not the same as His saying no. "Wait," just brings the result in His perfect timing. I am thankful that my son is comfortable in his bed with the remnants of pasta that he greatly enjoyed clinging to his t-shirt. (We didn't bring changes of clothing.) I am so very thankful that God is God, and that I am not! It is well!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Look for the "God Label" ...
All is well today at the Taylor hacienda. Nick and I went to the grocery store. He made it all the way around Kroger, and immediately took a nap upon our arriving home. His doctor is slowly weening him off of prednisone, and that, along with chemo, can create a tired that not even the wandering Israelis must have known.
Our Pastor made a comment at church yesterday that so many Christians follow or even chase after signs and wonders, when the Bible clearly states that signs and wonders are supposed to follow us as we share the gospel. I know and cherish so many people from different christian denominations. Of course, some groups are doctrinally trained to recognize signs and wonders more readily that others. Some believe that such things have passed away, and that God just doesn't do things like that anymore. Some believe that every occurrence in life is spiritually motivated...ie...good hair day = miracle; bad hair day = demonic oppression.
I am just simple enough to believe the whole of the Bible. It says that "God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow", Hebrews 13:8. He never leaves us. He is always with us. He turns even the bad things into positive outcomes for those of us who love Him and are called to His purposes. (paraphrase of Romans 8:28) Oh...OK...therein the rub lies...loving Him and being called to HIS purposes...not our own. Its a perspective thing. It is so easy to get sidetracked when our lives are difficult. It is so easy to focus on the hard parts instead of looking for how God can be glorified in our lives.
Regardless of your beliefs...God is still performing signs, wonders, and miracles on a daily basis! (I don't believe that good hair days fall into that category, but I guess they could if the humidity was high enough, and the winds were torrential...I digress)
There used to be an advertising slogan that said, "Look for the Union Label when you are buying a coat, dress, or blouse..." Regardless of your support or lack thereof for the "Union Label," the advertising made us look.
My challenge today is to look for the "God Label." If your life is sharing the gospel of Christ, then signs and wonders will be following you. Spin around a couple of times today. You will see Him at work. It is well.
Our Pastor made a comment at church yesterday that so many Christians follow or even chase after signs and wonders, when the Bible clearly states that signs and wonders are supposed to follow us as we share the gospel. I know and cherish so many people from different christian denominations. Of course, some groups are doctrinally trained to recognize signs and wonders more readily that others. Some believe that such things have passed away, and that God just doesn't do things like that anymore. Some believe that every occurrence in life is spiritually motivated...ie...good hair day = miracle; bad hair day = demonic oppression.
I am just simple enough to believe the whole of the Bible. It says that "God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow", Hebrews 13:8. He never leaves us. He is always with us. He turns even the bad things into positive outcomes for those of us who love Him and are called to His purposes. (paraphrase of Romans 8:28) Oh...OK...therein the rub lies...loving Him and being called to HIS purposes...not our own. Its a perspective thing. It is so easy to get sidetracked when our lives are difficult. It is so easy to focus on the hard parts instead of looking for how God can be glorified in our lives.
Regardless of your beliefs...God is still performing signs, wonders, and miracles on a daily basis! (I don't believe that good hair days fall into that category, but I guess they could if the humidity was high enough, and the winds were torrential...I digress)
There used to be an advertising slogan that said, "Look for the Union Label when you are buying a coat, dress, or blouse..." Regardless of your support or lack thereof for the "Union Label," the advertising made us look.
My challenge today is to look for the "God Label." If your life is sharing the gospel of Christ, then signs and wonders will be following you. Spin around a couple of times today. You will see Him at work. It is well.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Peculiar People
This has been a great day. Nick came through all of the poking and prodding yesterday with flying colors. It really was easier than so many days that we have had so far. Even though he had blood tests, his PICC line removed, a bone marrow biopsy, and a lumbar puncture with chemo instillation he felt better than he has in a while. This morning I buzzed his hair, and he has now gone to eat with Amanda and Andrew. Hopefully we will have several days to be a bit "normal" before we have to go back to Vanderbilt. (I know...I can hear several of you saying, "Y'all have never been normal. What makes you think that this week will be the week?"
We are peculiar people. I Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
Webster's Dictionary defines peculiar as "strange; odd; uncommon; usual; distinctive in nature or character from others." I don't know about y'all, but I have always felt peculiar...not necessarily in a Biblical way...just peculiar. Growing up I never was part of the popular group. In grade school I was a red-headed, freckled face, chunky kid who wore home-made clothes. In my teen years I added band geek, straight laced, overly developed, and McDonald's night manager to the list of peculiarities (among other things.)
As long as I can remember I have felt peculiar, and like I just didn't quite fit in. I'm sure that most you can relate to having that feeling at some point in your life. Nick told me yesterday, when he started to lose his hair, that I should post the occurrence so that people would not be surprised and think that he was strange when they saw him. He truly amazes me. He looks very different than he did a couple of months ago, and though his body is relatively weak, he has become so very, very strong.
The truth is that if you have given your life to Christ you are a peculiar person. You are set apart and different than the world. The word translated "peculiar" in I Peter literally means "purchased." I still feel peculiar in the Webster's kind of way, but I am so thankful that I am also peculiar in the Biblical way...So is Nick...So are you. It is well.
We are peculiar people. I Peter 2:9 says, "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that you should show forth the praises of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
Webster's Dictionary defines peculiar as "strange; odd; uncommon; usual; distinctive in nature or character from others." I don't know about y'all, but I have always felt peculiar...not necessarily in a Biblical way...just peculiar. Growing up I never was part of the popular group. In grade school I was a red-headed, freckled face, chunky kid who wore home-made clothes. In my teen years I added band geek, straight laced, overly developed, and McDonald's night manager to the list of peculiarities (among other things.)
As long as I can remember I have felt peculiar, and like I just didn't quite fit in. I'm sure that most you can relate to having that feeling at some point in your life. Nick told me yesterday, when he started to lose his hair, that I should post the occurrence so that people would not be surprised and think that he was strange when they saw him. He truly amazes me. He looks very different than he did a couple of months ago, and though his body is relatively weak, he has become so very, very strong.
The truth is that if you have given your life to Christ you are a peculiar person. You are set apart and different than the world. The word translated "peculiar" in I Peter literally means "purchased." I still feel peculiar in the Webster's kind of way, but I am so thankful that I am also peculiar in the Biblical way...So is Nick...So are you. It is well.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Gray Hair Is a Sign Of Godliness (It's in the Bible)
We are back at Vanderbilt...same story...fibrinogen was low. Don't get me wrong. I am very certain that this will end well. I know in whom I have believed. However, I don't think that I could ever have imagined what the day to day journey would be like (if I had ever tried to imagine.) There are many factors that are challenging in our days. Nick has been an awesome, mighty man of faith since day one. I am sure that his perspective is different than mine. However, the perspective that I have is my own, and it is the only one from which I can write.
As I drove to Nashville today I started to ponder how life has changed. Before Nick's diagnosis my iPhone calendar was full. There was something that I needed to remember to do on almost everyday of the week. Now I can not state with any sort of certainty that I will be available on any day of the week to do anything except what Nick needs done. As I pondered this, several scriptures came to mind: Proverbs 9:16 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." James 4 talks about not being so self confident that we boast about what we will or will not do. James 4:14 says, "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?..." The answer is that none of us knows what life will be like tomorrow. We are not even promised tomorrow, but we need to live like we will be here for the next ninety years.
The only thing that I know to do is to follow God, and be flexible. (That's a lot easier for some personalities to do than for others.) 2 Timothy 4:2 talks about being ready at all times to do what God has called us to do. It says to be "ready in season and out of season." It seems that this season is full of unexpected duties, and joy found where I would least expect it. Even though I haven't always handled the uncertainly and moment to moment changes with the grace that I should have, I can see that God is leading in the midst of it.
Here is word of encouragement that I found as I read through the 16th chapter of Proverbs: "31 Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life." I know a lot of godly people! You know who you are.... It is well!
As I drove to Nashville today I started to ponder how life has changed. Before Nick's diagnosis my iPhone calendar was full. There was something that I needed to remember to do on almost everyday of the week. Now I can not state with any sort of certainty that I will be available on any day of the week to do anything except what Nick needs done. As I pondered this, several scriptures came to mind: Proverbs 9:16 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." James 4 talks about not being so self confident that we boast about what we will or will not do. James 4:14 says, "How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow?..." The answer is that none of us knows what life will be like tomorrow. We are not even promised tomorrow, but we need to live like we will be here for the next ninety years.
The only thing that I know to do is to follow God, and be flexible. (That's a lot easier for some personalities to do than for others.) 2 Timothy 4:2 talks about being ready at all times to do what God has called us to do. It says to be "ready in season and out of season." It seems that this season is full of unexpected duties, and joy found where I would least expect it. Even though I haven't always handled the uncertainly and moment to moment changes with the grace that I should have, I can see that God is leading in the midst of it.
Here is word of encouragement that I found as I read through the 16th chapter of Proverbs: "31 Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained by living a godly life." I know a lot of godly people! You know who you are.... It is well!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
A Bit More Detail
Things are nice and peaceful this afternoon. It's almost time for the zumbathon that some of Nick's co-workers have sponsored to help him with his medical expenses. I have never zumbaed before, but it should be fun. He is feeling better today than the last couple of days. I'll try to fill you in with a bit more detail of what has happened over the last several days.
Last Wednesday I noticed that Nick had some bleeding around his PICC line, and he kept saying that he just didn't feel right. So, after calling Vanderbilt we ended up at the Jackson Clinic. They did some labs, but not all of the profiles that they check at Vanderbilt. Nick was a bit dehydrated, so they gave him some saline, and that did help him to feel better. Last Friday we went to Vanderbilt for his regular chemo appointment. Lab tests are a regular part of the process. They found that his fibrinogen was dangerously low and that he was in mild DIC. If DIC is left untreated it can become life threatening very quickly. Simply put, It causes the body to form tiny clots throughout the bloodstream. It uses up the body's stores of clotting factors on all of these tiny clots. So, when the body really needs to clot...there is no clotting factor to use. Patients in acute DIC bleed uncontrollably internally, through their skin, and from just about anywhere else that you can think of.
The fact that he was in mild DIC was good in one way, because they had a clear explanation for what was going on with him. His liver was fine...etc. So, they gave him cryoprecipitate, a blood product which replaces what he is missing. (A big thank you to everyone who donates blood!!)
They sent us home late friday night with instructions to watch for more bleeding and unexplained bruising. Monday morning his PICC line was bleeding again, and he did have some bruising. So, when Vanderbilt called to tell us about the labs they had scheduled I told them about the symptoms he was having. They immediately asked how long it would take for us to get there. We headed east. When we arrived we found that his fibrinogen was still very low, but not as low as it had been on friday. They gave him some more cryoprecipitate, and we were sent home. We will get more labs drawn tomorrow, and hopefully his levels will be back to normal with no more evidence of DIC.
He is scheduled for more invasive testing on Friday, which will not be safe to do unless his clotting is back to normal. We are asking that everyone agree with us for a miracle in his blood! His fibrinogen levels need to be back to normal. We know the God that can do just that!! Please continue to pray. It is well.
Last Wednesday I noticed that Nick had some bleeding around his PICC line, and he kept saying that he just didn't feel right. So, after calling Vanderbilt we ended up at the Jackson Clinic. They did some labs, but not all of the profiles that they check at Vanderbilt. Nick was a bit dehydrated, so they gave him some saline, and that did help him to feel better. Last Friday we went to Vanderbilt for his regular chemo appointment. Lab tests are a regular part of the process. They found that his fibrinogen was dangerously low and that he was in mild DIC. If DIC is left untreated it can become life threatening very quickly. Simply put, It causes the body to form tiny clots throughout the bloodstream. It uses up the body's stores of clotting factors on all of these tiny clots. So, when the body really needs to clot...there is no clotting factor to use. Patients in acute DIC bleed uncontrollably internally, through their skin, and from just about anywhere else that you can think of.
The fact that he was in mild DIC was good in one way, because they had a clear explanation for what was going on with him. His liver was fine...etc. So, they gave him cryoprecipitate, a blood product which replaces what he is missing. (A big thank you to everyone who donates blood!!)
They sent us home late friday night with instructions to watch for more bleeding and unexplained bruising. Monday morning his PICC line was bleeding again, and he did have some bruising. So, when Vanderbilt called to tell us about the labs they had scheduled I told them about the symptoms he was having. They immediately asked how long it would take for us to get there. We headed east. When we arrived we found that his fibrinogen was still very low, but not as low as it had been on friday. They gave him some more cryoprecipitate, and we were sent home. We will get more labs drawn tomorrow, and hopefully his levels will be back to normal with no more evidence of DIC.
He is scheduled for more invasive testing on Friday, which will not be safe to do unless his clotting is back to normal. We are asking that everyone agree with us for a miracle in his blood! His fibrinogen levels need to be back to normal. We know the God that can do just that!! Please continue to pray. It is well.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Bumps In The Road
We have had some bumps in the road over the last couple of days. Nick and I went back to Vanderbilt for his scheduled chemo on Friday. It was supposed to be a series of short doctor's visits and them an hour or so of chemo infusion. He was also supposed to have his PICC line removed and have this coming week "off" of treatment. Instead we started the day with his blood pressure dangerously high and some factors in his blood dangerously low. I am very thankful for the attentive staff at Vanderbilt! He got the needed attention and medication, but could not have the PICC line removed because of the danger of uncontrollable bleeding. The stay that we expected to be an hour or so turned into about 9 hours.
He is doing well today. We just have to keep a close eye on a few things. Please continue to agree in prayer with us that life is in his blood. We are scheduled to go back next Friday for another lumbar puncture and another bone marrow biopsy. His labs will have to rebound before he can continue with the prescribed protocol.
I don't think that I have shared before that this is supposed to be a 3 year process of chemotherapy. It will not always be as intensive as it is now, but the long and short of it is that this adventure is a marathon. There will be times within the next three years when life will seem normal again, but we are told that in order to have a sure cure we must endure the entire 3 years...and we WILL endure!
Just to share a bit of my perspective on this...I know that God did NOT create this sickness. I firmly believe that He has allowed it, and that He will give us everything that we need in order to not only endure to the end, but to come out victorious with a powerful testimony of His faithfulness. Knowing that God knew our end from before the foundation of the earth, I can see two major ways that He was preparing me for this adventure. The first thing is that I completely lost the grace and desire to run my business at the end of last year. I felt like He began telling me a couple of years ago that my business would be ending, but I knew that it was time last December. I stopped taking new clients last fall, and I am almost finished with all of my projects now. If I had not stopped taking clients when I did, my attention would be so divided now. I would not have the complete freedom to focus on Nick. The second thing is that I applied and was accepted to nursing school last January. The classes that I have already taken have given me the knowledge to understand and converse intelligently with the medical professionals with which we are dealing now.
I am so thankful that when our hearts are turned towards God, He leads us in and out of decisions that we have no idea will be integral parts of our futures. Please know that He has known your end from before your beginning...and all the parts in between. If you are wondering about which way to go; which decision is right; what do you do next...the answer is to find out where the peace is. The directions that God leads us in do not always make sense. In fact, they hardly ever do at the time. However, if it is the direction of God there will always be a peace...many times an inexplicable peace. Dare to go the way of peace...not necessarily reason. It is well.
Zumbathon
He is doing well today. We just have to keep a close eye on a few things. Please continue to agree in prayer with us that life is in his blood. We are scheduled to go back next Friday for another lumbar puncture and another bone marrow biopsy. His labs will have to rebound before he can continue with the prescribed protocol.
I don't think that I have shared before that this is supposed to be a 3 year process of chemotherapy. It will not always be as intensive as it is now, but the long and short of it is that this adventure is a marathon. There will be times within the next three years when life will seem normal again, but we are told that in order to have a sure cure we must endure the entire 3 years...and we WILL endure!
Just to share a bit of my perspective on this...I know that God did NOT create this sickness. I firmly believe that He has allowed it, and that He will give us everything that we need in order to not only endure to the end, but to come out victorious with a powerful testimony of His faithfulness. Knowing that God knew our end from before the foundation of the earth, I can see two major ways that He was preparing me for this adventure. The first thing is that I completely lost the grace and desire to run my business at the end of last year. I felt like He began telling me a couple of years ago that my business would be ending, but I knew that it was time last December. I stopped taking new clients last fall, and I am almost finished with all of my projects now. If I had not stopped taking clients when I did, my attention would be so divided now. I would not have the complete freedom to focus on Nick. The second thing is that I applied and was accepted to nursing school last January. The classes that I have already taken have given me the knowledge to understand and converse intelligently with the medical professionals with which we are dealing now.
I am so thankful that when our hearts are turned towards God, He leads us in and out of decisions that we have no idea will be integral parts of our futures. Please know that He has known your end from before your beginning...and all the parts in between. If you are wondering about which way to go; which decision is right; what do you do next...the answer is to find out where the peace is. The directions that God leads us in do not always make sense. In fact, they hardly ever do at the time. However, if it is the direction of God there will always be a peace...many times an inexplicable peace. Dare to go the way of peace...not necessarily reason. It is well.
Zumbathon
Thursday, July 7, 2011
We Are Really Clark Kent.
First of all, please be praying for our son in law, Andrew. He is having some outpatient surgery tomorrow.
We are back in Nashvegas for chemo tomorrow. My car is starting to know exactly where to go when it gets pointed east. Nick has had a pretty good day, and so have I. We talked a lot on the way here. I told him stories from my childhood, and he reminisced about fond memories from his. It was so good to laugh and remember.
Do you remember when you figured out that your parents were just people...not Superman and Wonderwoman? As children we tend to think that our parents know it all. Then as teenagers they know nothing, and by our early twenties we realize that they are just flawed people like us with a bit more experience and wisdom from years of trial and error. I see some parents who never want their children to see them mess up... Or never want their children to know their true identity as Clark Kent instead of Superman. The problem with this is that our kids know that they themselves are not perfect. So, when their parents apparently never mess up; never have to apologize; never admit their faults... The kids get the idea that it is possible to be perfect. After all, their parents ARE perfect. (NOT!) So, there must be something wrong with them. One of the best gifts we can give our kids is to let them see us being human, and to also let them see us being godly...Ask their forgiveness when we are in the wrong... Or harsh... Or just plain behaving badly. They will then see that they can be the kind of Superman or Wonderwoman that we are...the kind that shows the love of God and needs to ask forgiveness all in the same day (or hour or minute.)
It's a good thing that we serve a God who knows well our status as Clark Kent, and loves us unconditionally. It was a day full of 44. It is well.
We are back in Nashvegas for chemo tomorrow. My car is starting to know exactly where to go when it gets pointed east. Nick has had a pretty good day, and so have I. We talked a lot on the way here. I told him stories from my childhood, and he reminisced about fond memories from his. It was so good to laugh and remember.
Do you remember when you figured out that your parents were just people...not Superman and Wonderwoman? As children we tend to think that our parents know it all. Then as teenagers they know nothing, and by our early twenties we realize that they are just flawed people like us with a bit more experience and wisdom from years of trial and error. I see some parents who never want their children to see them mess up... Or never want their children to know their true identity as Clark Kent instead of Superman. The problem with this is that our kids know that they themselves are not perfect. So, when their parents apparently never mess up; never have to apologize; never admit their faults... The kids get the idea that it is possible to be perfect. After all, their parents ARE perfect. (NOT!) So, there must be something wrong with them. One of the best gifts we can give our kids is to let them see us being human, and to also let them see us being godly...Ask their forgiveness when we are in the wrong... Or harsh... Or just plain behaving badly. They will then see that they can be the kind of Superman or Wonderwoman that we are...the kind that shows the love of God and needs to ask forgiveness all in the same day (or hour or minute.)
It's a good thing that we serve a God who knows well our status as Clark Kent, and loves us unconditionally. It was a day full of 44. It is well.
A Sack Full of Salt Water
Nick is doing well at day's end. We did have a little drama today, but as always it is well. At lunch time today his PICC line started to bleed from the insertion site...not overly much...but it was not supposed to be doing that. I got the bleeding stopped, but he was also feeling a good bit more yucky that usual. So, we ended up going to have it seen about. The verdict was that he was a few quarts low and just needed some H2O. It's amazing how badly dehydration can make one feel.
Provision for today...One of the great things that I believe that God is teaching us along this adventure is to be thankful and content with the provision for the day and the moment at hand. Why does that seem to be such a difficult concept? I mean...come on... we serve this awesome God who has shown up and shown out in tangibly miraculous ways. Yet, I have to admit that I would be much more content if God would just send me an email detailing all of the bumps in the road that we are about to experience and the ways that He is going to make it all O.K. in the end. Do I believe that it WILL be O.K. in the end? Emphatically...YES! So, why do I still have this need to know?
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and the assurance about what we do not see." The Bible talks about each of us who know Jesus having a measure or portion of faith. I believe that this portion grows as our relationship with Jesus grows.
The problem seems to be...Not with the One in whom we have faith...Not in our knowing or not knowing how things will resolve...But in our thoughts about what may or may not happen. Isn't that true? Our imaginations can come up with some pretty wild stuff, and the worry that these crazy thoughts produce are never ever productive! Let's just all resolve to trust the only One who is truly trustworthy.
It turns out that all we really needed today was a sack full of salt water, and that's exactly what we got. It is well.
Provision for today...One of the great things that I believe that God is teaching us along this adventure is to be thankful and content with the provision for the day and the moment at hand. Why does that seem to be such a difficult concept? I mean...come on... we serve this awesome God who has shown up and shown out in tangibly miraculous ways. Yet, I have to admit that I would be much more content if God would just send me an email detailing all of the bumps in the road that we are about to experience and the ways that He is going to make it all O.K. in the end. Do I believe that it WILL be O.K. in the end? Emphatically...YES! So, why do I still have this need to know?
Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and the assurance about what we do not see." The Bible talks about each of us who know Jesus having a measure or portion of faith. I believe that this portion grows as our relationship with Jesus grows.
The problem seems to be...Not with the One in whom we have faith...Not in our knowing or not knowing how things will resolve...But in our thoughts about what may or may not happen. Isn't that true? Our imaginations can come up with some pretty wild stuff, and the worry that these crazy thoughts produce are never ever productive! Let's just all resolve to trust the only One who is truly trustworthy.
It turns out that all we really needed today was a sack full of salt water, and that's exactly what we got. It is well.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Remission - A Complete Reversal
Sorry that I haven't written in a few days. I've been cooking, cleaning carpets, baseboards, bathrooms, floors, etc, but most of all I have been enjoying that Nick is at home. We have to go back to Vanderbilt this Friday for chemo, but it will just be an outpatient thing (We may have to stay a couple of nights...don't know yet). Nick is doing amazingly well. He is in remission, has had very little nausea, and has not lost any hair. I'm in awe of God's intervention.
Since last Saturday morning when we were told that we were going home because Nick was stable and in remission I have been thinking about that word, remission. When I looked up the definition it was basically defined as the absence of disease in a formerly critically ill person, with the possibility of the disease returning. However, the Biblical definition of remission is the total annihilation of sin and it's consequence of death. When we have our sins remitted we become a whole new creation. Do we still sin? Yes, but the difference is that the eternal deadliness has been taken out of the sin. Jesus shed His precious blood for the purpose of remitting our sins. He took the death that we deserved because of sin, and in return has given us eternal life.
Right after Jesus was resurrected the Apostles were hiding in a room for fear that the authorities would find them and punish them for being followers of Jesus (John 20:19 - 23.) Jesus then appeared to them behind the locked doors. They didn't know Him at first, but when they saw His hands and feet they knew it was Jesus. Jesus twice spoke "Peace" over them, and then breathed on them saying, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." The King James version reads, "Receive ye the Holy Ghost; Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained." The Greek word for remit and remitted literally means to send away or omit, and it's root word means a complete reversal.
O.k... so they were filled with the Holy Ghost, sent out, and given the power to remit sins. Talk about the power of life and death being found in our tongues (James 3.) ....And I'm pretty sure that we, as Holy Ghost filled, Bible believing, saved and sanctified Christians are supposed to be walking around with the same power. Now, is that the power of the proclaimed gospel?... Or is it something else completely? I think that is is probably much more than we are willing to believe. However, the only thing that I am sure about is that Jesus provides remission...of sins...of cancer...of addictions...of maladies of all kinds. Jesus is the answer.
To whom can you minister remission today? It is well!
Since last Saturday morning when we were told that we were going home because Nick was stable and in remission I have been thinking about that word, remission. When I looked up the definition it was basically defined as the absence of disease in a formerly critically ill person, with the possibility of the disease returning. However, the Biblical definition of remission is the total annihilation of sin and it's consequence of death. When we have our sins remitted we become a whole new creation. Do we still sin? Yes, but the difference is that the eternal deadliness has been taken out of the sin. Jesus shed His precious blood for the purpose of remitting our sins. He took the death that we deserved because of sin, and in return has given us eternal life.
Right after Jesus was resurrected the Apostles were hiding in a room for fear that the authorities would find them and punish them for being followers of Jesus (John 20:19 - 23.) Jesus then appeared to them behind the locked doors. They didn't know Him at first, but when they saw His hands and feet they knew it was Jesus. Jesus twice spoke "Peace" over them, and then breathed on them saying, "Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained." The King James version reads, "Receive ye the Holy Ghost; Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained." The Greek word for remit and remitted literally means to send away or omit, and it's root word means a complete reversal.
O.k... so they were filled with the Holy Ghost, sent out, and given the power to remit sins. Talk about the power of life and death being found in our tongues (James 3.) ....And I'm pretty sure that we, as Holy Ghost filled, Bible believing, saved and sanctified Christians are supposed to be walking around with the same power. Now, is that the power of the proclaimed gospel?... Or is it something else completely? I think that is is probably much more than we are willing to believe. However, the only thing that I am sure about is that Jesus provides remission...of sins...of cancer...of addictions...of maladies of all kinds. Jesus is the answer.
To whom can you minister remission today? It is well!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
I'm Not Even Kidding!!!
Here's the latest: We got the preliminary results from Nick's bone marrow biopsy. It looks from all indicators that he is in early remission. YEAH!!! AND...... His team of doctors just left the room fairly certain that they are sending him home tomorrow. Yes, you read it correctly. We were supposed to be here a minimum of 28 days, and day 17 is GO day. We will have to come back to Nashville at regular intervals to get outpatient chemo. However, that is so much more manageable. It's really difficult to do the dance of joy & type, but somehow I am managing.
Do y'all realize how much your prayers have contributed to actual physical changes in our lives? I can not even begin to tell you what that means to us...that so many people would take the time out of the cares of their own lives to lift up our needs. Whether you realize it or not you have shown us that the body of Christ actually displays the character of Christ.
I am heading home today to clean the house...it needs to be a bit more sanitized than I usually keep it. Those of you who know me well know that I have always maintained that dust is furniture preservative. I guess that our furniture will just have to be clean and naked and take one for the team.
I have more to say, but I gotta go for now. 44 to you all!! IT IS WELL!!
Do y'all realize how much your prayers have contributed to actual physical changes in our lives? I can not even begin to tell you what that means to us...that so many people would take the time out of the cares of their own lives to lift up our needs. Whether you realize it or not you have shown us that the body of Christ actually displays the character of Christ.
I am heading home today to clean the house...it needs to be a bit more sanitized than I usually keep it. Those of you who know me well know that I have always maintained that dust is furniture preservative. I guess that our furniture will just have to be clean and naked and take one for the team.
I have more to say, but I gotta go for now. 44 to you all!! IT IS WELL!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
You Will Bump Into Him
For those of you who have just started checking this blog, I think that I will start by summarizing the events of the last few weeks. Three weeks ago this Monday, we got the word that we were fighting leukemia. Two weeks ago today we checked into to Vanderbilt and began chemo the next day. One of the chemo drugs came with the warning of a possible side effect of cardiac issues. Two weeks ago this Sunday Nick awoke with a stroke level heart rate and an atrial fibrillation rhythm. This lasted for approximately 30 hours. In the 30th hour God reminded me that He had told me to lay hands on Nick and pray. Megan and I did just that, and his heart immediately went back to normal. We then summarily did the dance of joy!
A week ago last Tuesday Nick was given a new chemo drug with a warning of possible blood clotting side effects. Last Monday he awoke with pain in his arm just below his PICC line. They did an ultrasound and found a blood clot in the vein below the PICC. So, the PICC line had to be removed and he was immediately put on a blood thinning medicine. It was reported that the clot was in a deep vein, which put him in danger of the clot moving to his heart. At the same time another factor in his blood that has a complicated effect on clotting was low. So he was also being given a blood product protein that caused clotting. Both medicines were deemed necessary. It was to be a delicate balance. People began praying specifically about this situation. On Tuesday morning the tests were reviewed again and the blood clot was found to be in a surface vein and therefore only a nuisance. No more danger. The same day the other blood level was found to be back to normal and is being monitored and properly addressed. Yesterday he got a new PICC line. Today they did a bone marrow biopsy on him. His doctors told us that they were doing it earlier than scheduled because they thought he was already in remission. He came through this very easily. We will have results in a couple of days.
Today we are halfway through this stay at Vanderbilt. During our initial drive to Vanderbilt, 2 weeks ago, I thought about the 23rd Psalm: "...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for You are with me..." We, as Christians have never been told in the Bible that we would not have to walk through valleys. We have, however, been re-assured over and over again that we would not walk alone. It's all about perspective.
There is a courtyard between the main hospital and the Children's hospital, that houses a Taco Bell and a Pizza Hut. We frequently take walks in the evening to exercise and get Tacos. As we walked a few nights ago I kept running into him because I was looking at and talking to him. I had to change my focus in order to walk and keep my distance. Where are we looking as we walk through the valleys in life? If you have ever driven a car, ridden a bike, skied down a slope, or tried to walk a straight line you have experienced this. Wherever you focus your eyes the rest of your body will follow. If we keep our focus on the presence of and promises of God we will walk in the peace that is at the core of His character. If we chose to focus on the shadows of the unknown darkness we will end up experiencing the unrest and anxiety that follows.
I'm so thankful that He has made it easy to focus on Him. If you look at Him and talk with Him, you will bump into Him. It is well!
A week ago last Tuesday Nick was given a new chemo drug with a warning of possible blood clotting side effects. Last Monday he awoke with pain in his arm just below his PICC line. They did an ultrasound and found a blood clot in the vein below the PICC. So, the PICC line had to be removed and he was immediately put on a blood thinning medicine. It was reported that the clot was in a deep vein, which put him in danger of the clot moving to his heart. At the same time another factor in his blood that has a complicated effect on clotting was low. So he was also being given a blood product protein that caused clotting. Both medicines were deemed necessary. It was to be a delicate balance. People began praying specifically about this situation. On Tuesday morning the tests were reviewed again and the blood clot was found to be in a surface vein and therefore only a nuisance. No more danger. The same day the other blood level was found to be back to normal and is being monitored and properly addressed. Yesterday he got a new PICC line. Today they did a bone marrow biopsy on him. His doctors told us that they were doing it earlier than scheduled because they thought he was already in remission. He came through this very easily. We will have results in a couple of days.
Today we are halfway through this stay at Vanderbilt. During our initial drive to Vanderbilt, 2 weeks ago, I thought about the 23rd Psalm: "...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil, for You are with me..." We, as Christians have never been told in the Bible that we would not have to walk through valleys. We have, however, been re-assured over and over again that we would not walk alone. It's all about perspective.
There is a courtyard between the main hospital and the Children's hospital, that houses a Taco Bell and a Pizza Hut. We frequently take walks in the evening to exercise and get Tacos. As we walked a few nights ago I kept running into him because I was looking at and talking to him. I had to change my focus in order to walk and keep my distance. Where are we looking as we walk through the valleys in life? If you have ever driven a car, ridden a bike, skied down a slope, or tried to walk a straight line you have experienced this. Wherever you focus your eyes the rest of your body will follow. If we keep our focus on the presence of and promises of God we will walk in the peace that is at the core of His character. If we chose to focus on the shadows of the unknown darkness we will end up experiencing the unrest and anxiety that follows.
I'm so thankful that He has made it easy to focus on Him. If you look at Him and talk with Him, you will bump into Him. It is well!
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