Responsibility???

I have seen improvement today.  I started to type that every day that we see improvement is a positive day, but that is really not what I have found to be true.  The fact is that every day that we are exchanging oxygen for carbon dioxide is a positive day.  Maybe we can count more positive things on some days than others, but life is so precious that while we have breath there is positive to be found.

Nick seems to have had less pain and more energy today than the last time I blogged.  He and Megan, his sister, headed off to Nashville this evening.  She is taking him to his appointments tomorrow, and staying with him through Wednesday morning.  Amanda, his oldest sister, will head to Nashville Wednesday morning and they will come home Friday afternoon.  He will be in very capable hands all week long!

So, what am I doing?  I will have a day off tomorrow, and the end of the week will be full of nursing orientation.  Nick is adamant that I continue with school.  So, we, as a family, are going to do what it takes to manage all of the pieces of life.  We also have a lot of extended family and friends in the area who have volunteered to make treks to Nashvegas whenever needed.  Nick's health is obviously the priority, but we will try our best to carry on the rest of life as normal in the balance.

Megan said to me today, "Mom, you have got to just relax and let us help.  He's our family too."  I will tell you that that was not new information, but I have thought about it on and off since she said it.  I have, for as long as I can remember, been so driven by feelings of responsibility...in all areas of my life.  I know that there is nothing that I do in life that someone else could not do just as well or much better than I.    However, if I perceive it to be my responsibility, it is very difficult to step back and turn myself off without feeling that I have shirked my responsibility or placed undue stress upon the other person.   It may be part of that first born child syndrome, but it, like everything else in life, has got to be in balance to be a healthful part of life.  

I do know, and would tell someone else, that we all have to both graciously give and receive.  It is not easy.   However,  it is a balance with which I will have to become comfortable in the coming season.  There is almost constantly something in my life that God has illuminated for change.  He is so gracious and kind not to bring up too many things at once.   He knows what each of us can handle at any given moment, and not only wants to bring up the issues to make us more like Jesus, but wants us to turn to Him as the solution as well.  I am very thankful that God is not finished with me yet!  It is well.