Not All Weeds Are Flowers

I feel a little guilty trying to classify days as "good" and "not good."  I mean...who am I to say that what the Lord has given us ("This is the day that the Lord has made...") is not good.  I will say, however, that we received lots of news today that was not good by my definitions.

Nick did not sleep at all last night.  I don't simply mean that he was a bit restless.  I mean that he did not go to sleep at all.  He started having stomach and chest pains just before dinner last night.  The pain became increasingly severe, and by about 4 o'clock this morning he was in real distress.  When we got to the hospital  they did blood work and determined that he has pancreatitis.  He did not get his scheduled chemo nor the lumbar puncture that was originally scheduled for yesterday.

The results also came back from his bone marrow biopsy and the MRI that they ran last night.  The biopsy was not clean (still shows leukemia cells,) and the MRI showed 4 spine fractures.  We will be going to see an endocrinologist and an orthopedic surgeon to get his spinal issues assessed, and there will likely be a bone marrow transplant sometime in the next 3 to 4 months.  We were told that his sisters, Amanda & Megan, will be the most likely transplant donors.  If the girls do not match they will test Glenn & I next, then younger extended family members first, followed by older family.  Non family would be a resource only if there were not willing, matching family members.  I want to stress to family and friends alike that we will not be expecting this of any of you!  The risk is low for the donor.  However, it is not something that ANYONE needs to feel coerced to do.  God will provide what we need...even the right bone marrow donor...if that's what we end up needing.

Of course I had no idea what this day would hold when it began, but God, in His sweet and gentle way, started talking to me about how I defined things on the way to the hospital this morning.  Between the Hope Lodge and Vanderbilt, less than 2 miles, there is an abandoned lot surrounded by a broken down, chain linked fence.  It looks out of place amongst the upscale restaurants, banks, and various other examples of re-claimed and modernized architecture.  In the middle of the unkempt grass in this lot is a beautiful patch of bright blue flowers...as blue as a sapphire reflecting sun light.   They caught my eye, and in that moment God began preparing me for the day.

I thought about the fact that those flowers, as they grew, would certainly be classified as weeds.  They weren't much taller than the grass and would certainly be mown down as soon as the neighborhood began to notice that the grass was too high.  However, in the hands of a skilled florist or anyone with a bud vase, they would be an eye-catching joy.  I love fresh flowers, and have frequently stopped by the side of a road to pick a handful of treasures for my kitchen table.  Weed...or...treasure?

The news that we received today did not sound good.  It did not produce joy or hope.  On the contrary, it produced tears and sadness.  But it, like my beautiful weeds, changes in effect when I look at it in a different way.  The words from Nick's doctor this morning are in no way what we wanted to hear, but along with the negative findings we also heard at least the beginnings of a plan to make it better.  Our son is alive, and we are enjoying spending time with him that we probably would not have spent were his body well.  We are watching God change our perspective of just about everything in life.  We are watching God fulfill promises and faithfully carry us through things that we could not have gone through in our own strength.

Not all weeds are flowers, but some are.  It is well.