Sunday, October 9, 2011

It's Not About Gold Stars (Although I Like Gold Stars)

We have had a couple of great days!  Nick has felt better than he has in a very long time. (Yeah!!!)  This morning when I was getting dressed I heard Glenn coming up the stairs.  It had to be Glenn because Nick can't climb the stairs.  I was minding my own business...just straightening my hair...when I see a shiny bald reflection in the mirror.  It was Nick.  He came upstairs like it was no big deal.

We spent most of the week at Vanderbilt.  He got the high dose methyltrexate.  It is really a strange process.  They started the chemo about 9:00 Monday night.  It took 3 hours to infuse.  Then 24 hours later they started giving him the antidote every 6 hours around the clock.  He then had to stay in the hospital until there was no evidence of the drug left in his system.  It was really hard on him...but what a difference a couple of days make. 

While he was there they also tested his adrenal output.  Because he had been on high doses of steroids for so many months his adrenal glands had all but shut down.  So, since he has been off of steroids for a couple of weeks, it was a good time to test and get an accurate reading.  They were only producing at 30%.  As he was being discharged his doctor wrote a prescription for a different kind of steroid.  His words were, " Take this for a couple of days and you will feel better than you have in a long time."  Well, just let me tell ya....he was correct.  The goal will be to restart his natural adrenal function, but for the time being we are so thankful for the wisdom that God has given man to produce needed pharmaceutical products!!  He has had much more energy, less pain, and a much more sunny outlook.  (Word of wisdom...Be wise and take your medicine while you are waiting for God to heal you.  Taking needed medicine does not equal a lack of faith.)

I got to go to church today.  I was so excited!!!  It had been several weeks.  About a week ago I was standing in my kitchen crying.  It was just one of those days.  I was talking to God as though I could see Him standing by my fridge.  (You can talk to your Daddy like that you know.)  As I was finishing my rant I said, "I'm such a mess...I haven't even been to church in weeks."  Immediately I could hear Him speak to my heart, "You are not a mess, and I know just where you are."

Please be encouraged that God does know where each of of is.  He sees your situation and mine, and does not judge us like man does.  He sees the painful (and joyous) cries of our hearts and knows where our hearts are turned.  Yes, we should be a part of a local church.  Yes, we have the duty and calling to share the Gospel.  Yes, He does require many things of us.  The difference is that His judgement comes according to the conditions of our hearts, not by outward appearance.  He sets the priorities for our lives according to His word:

I Timothy 5:8  But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.

I realize that the above scripture goes with the theme of caring for widows or orphans, but God makes it pretty clear that taking care of the needs in our own households is a big priority with Him.

There are times when we somehow manage to do it all, and times when we need stay home and tend to fevers and nausea.  There are times when family relationships are good, and times when you need to get away and work on them.  God's rules and regulations are not for the purpose of getting gold stars on some divine attendance chart.  His rules are to lead us to further His kingdom and change us step by step...moment by moment...glory by glory closer to the image of Jesus. 

It's all about the heart.  It is well!

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