Our God Pays Attention

<sup>We went to clinic this morning, and Nick still has a low grade temp.  Today it was 99.9.  It's not really considered a fever until it gets to be 100.4 or more.  However, it's more than a degree over normal.  So, there is still something going on that is making him not so normal.  (Yes, I hear some of you saying, "He's not normal because he your son."  Well, that is probably true, but sharing my genetics should not skew his vital signs.) 

He has also started having more nausea, and he has all but lost his appetite.   So, tomorrow he will be having an endoscopy to take some biopsies from his upper GI tract.  He is not stoked at all about having to undergo this, but it should show whether or not he is having some Graft vs. Host reactions.  This could explain all of his symptoms.

If the biopsies are positive for Graft vs. Host (GVHD)  they will give him a higher dose of steroids for a short time, and it will all be better.  They told us today that they would have expected him to have much more GVHD at this point, but I'm not surprised.  For all of the difficult moments, this adventure, on whole, has really been fairly easy.  It is simply God's extreme faithfulness.

For those of you who have not seen my Facebook updates, the last couple of weeks have been challenging.  Nick has been out of the hospital; back to the E.R. the same night; back in the hospital; and now he is out.  He is certainly better than 2 weeks ago, but we are still awaiting answers.

As I started to write this afternoon, I immediately thought of a specific happening in the Old Testament.  King Ahab was married to Jezebel, the nasty queen who's life's mission was to kill the Prophets of God.  There had been a drought in the land for 3 years, and the situation was grave.  So God told the Prophet Elijah to go and present himself to King Ahab, and He would send rain.

As Elijah was on his way, he ran into Obadiah.  He was a faithful believer who worked for Ahab, and had risked everything to save and care for 100 of God's Prophets...even though his boss' wife wanted them dead.  When Obadiah saw Elijah, he recognized him immediately.  Elijah told Obadiah to go and tell his boss that Elijah wanted to see him, but that was not what Obadiah wanted to hear.  I imagine that he just rolled his eyes at Elijah and he basically said,"What have I done wrong?  Are you trying to get me killed too?  I can't go and tell Ahab that I have talked to you...or had anything to do with you.   Who knows where God will send you in the mean time.  Then when you are not around, Ahab will kill me dead.  Don't you know about those 100 guys I saved?"  Obadiah was freaking out, and he knew that this was not going end well.  However, Elijah re-assured him, and Obadiah did as he had been told.</sup>

^{I Kings 18 (NIV)}

¹⁶ So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. ¹⁷ When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” ¹⁸ “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the LORD’s commands and have followed the Baals. ¹⁹ Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”

^{So 850 of the false gods prophets showed up, along with countless people from all over Israel.  It was surely billed as the show down of the century.} 

 ²¹ Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

 ^{Elijah told the 850 that they could get started by preparing a sacrifice, and that he would do the same.}

²⁴ Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God.”  Then all the people said, “What you say is good.” ²⁵ Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.” ²⁶ So they took the bull given them and prepared it.

^{The false prophets hooted and hollered, cried and screamed, flailed about and cut themselves until they were nearly bleeding out.  Then the Bible says,  " there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention."  They were awaiting an answer, but it was never going to come.  They carried on for the half a day, and Elijah had had enough.  He prepared an altar, cut up his sacrifice, and had it drenched with water...just to make sure that the people could see how miraculous it was going to be when God set it on fire.} 

  ³⁶ At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. ³⁷ Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” ³⁸ Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. ³⁹ When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God!” 

God had answered powerfully and immediately, but how about that no rain for 3 years thing.  After the showdown, Elijah sent his servant to look toward the sea and report back about any rain clouds that he saw.  Over and over again the servant came back to report that the sky was as clear as a bell, but Elijah did not give up.  He knew that this God that he served was extremely faithful.  On the 7th time that the servant went to look, he returned with a report that he saw a cloud about the size of a man's hand.  That was all Elijah needed to hear.  He immediately sent word to Ahab that he had better head out because the roads were about to get washed away with the torrential rains.

On the same day...same Prophet...same God...One time there was an immediate answer, and one time he had to wait until the 7th time that he believed.  Even then, he only saw a tiny improvement across the horizon.

I see improvement, and I still believe.

It is well.

Patience...If It Were Easy, Everyone Would Be Doing It.

A dear friend of mine and I had an online discussion last night that sparked an internal conversation.  As we talked, she encouraged me that her family would continue to pray for wisdom and peace.  However, she further stated that they would not pray for us to have patience.  I agreed and we shortly discussed how patience should be a four letter word.  I told her that the faith part was easy, but that patience thing...well, that's another story.  Then I got to thinking.  Isn't that just one of the sweet things about our Heavenly Father.  He doesn't usually hit us over the head with things.  He prompts a dear friend to make a joke that nearly every christian has made before, and somehow, this time, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

At this point, I'm not sure that patience can be separated from faith.  I mean...without one...the other has little effect.  How valuable is it to have faith in God, but only if He operates in my timetable?  What other demonstration of faith do we have other than the patience that allows us to rest in His sovereignty?

I don't like needing patience (not one little bit), but the lack of it shows lack of faith...not only in God, but in our children, spouses, co-workers, students, etc.  Maybe we should stop considering "patience" a dirty word, and see that it is but one demonstration of love toward Him (and others) that He wants cultivated in our lives.

I need and desire for God and people to have patience with me.  So, I'm going to make a bold statement:  If you feel so led, pray for us to have patience.  It will only foster greater faith and God's intervention in our lives.  You might want to try it for yourself too.  (Just a suggestion.)

We are, by the grace of God, still awaiting answers to Nick's current difficulties.  Answers are coming, and it's all going to be O.K.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

 ²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

It is well!

No-Brainer???

Nick is back in the hospital tonight.  Even though hypovolemia seemed like a no-brainer...voluminous fluids did not help.  So, fluid volume is not the problem.  He still has the headaches; blood pressure that drops when he sits or stands; and pulse that races when he sits or stands.  It is a quandary.

This is one of those times where I just need to keep my eyes open & my mouth shut while I wait for God to do His thing.  (It's O.K. to pray with your eyes open.)   I wish that I had the answer right now, but it's almost as good to be confident that the answer is coming.  I know in Whom I have believed...

It is well!

Keep Your Eyes Open And Don't Miss A Thing

Here we are at good old Vanderbilt.  Nick has been doing great.  He has just had some issues with headaches and dizziness over the last few days.  So, we came to the clinic yesterday, and are back today.  There are two theories about what might be going on:  either a drug interaction, or simple hypovolemia (dehydration.)  Even though we have been making sure that he is getting at least 2 liters of fluid per day, it may not be enough for him.  The doctor described it to Nick as if his body were a well oiled machine.  Chemo kind of threw a monkey wrench into the machine, and some spots may have gotten dented.  So, it takes a while for the dents to pop out.

This morning when he got up to leave, Nick nearly fainted. (Amanda fainted one time after an appendectomy.  It was all that I could do to bear her approximately 125 lbs.  If Nick actually faints I will just have to slow his descent to the floor and guard his head...no way I'll be able to keep him upright.)  When we got to the hospital they did what are called orthostatic vitals.  They checked his B/P & pulse in three position:  lying down, sitting up, and standing.  Lying down, everything was normal.  When he sat up his B/P dropped and his pulse went up.  When he stood up his B/P was not being registered on the machine and his pulse was in "danger danger Will Robinson" range.  The machine was registering his pulse at 216.

Let the scurrying begin!  A mass of people descended upon his room to do further assessments and hook him up to the heart monitor.  His heart was beating in a normal sinus rhythm, but it was just so very fast.  Within about a minute of him lying back down, his pulse was back to about 60 (normal, healthy range.)  This really does sound like hypovolemia.  So, we are going to have to keep him full to the brim with liquids.  He is getting a liter of normal saline as I type.

I have had a number of people ask if we were already at home because of the good reports.  The answer is, no.  He still has to be in Nashville until April 25th.  He is taking a number of medications...some of which lower his body's immune response so that his body does not reject the transplant.  Even though he is already completely converted to Amanda's DNA, his body was used to being Nick for 23 years.  So, we are staving off any rouge rebellions.  Because of this he needs to be close to Vanderbilt until the 100 days are finished.  He may get some furlough days at home before the 100 days is up, but only a few at a time.

We have witnessed, first hand, the glory of God in Nick's body.  I don't care one bit what anyone else might think to the contrary.  We have experienced miracle after miracle...no other way to explain it.  However, going through the last couple of days has been kind of odd.  Why is he having these new difficulties?

As I prayed about this this morning, I had a picture of Peter, James, & John on the Mt. of Transfiguration.  So I looked it up and re-read the scriptures.  We have to laugh at the antics of the disciples because they are no different than us.  Jesus led these three guys up to a mountain top to witness a miracle, but as soon as stuff started happening they began thinking with their carnal minds instead of just witnessing something that no one would ever get to see again.  Peter starts feeling uncomfortable and asks Jesus if he and his buds really need to be there.  (Like Jesus had made a mistake in inviting them.)  Then he starts trying to earn their presence by offering to make each of the three Prophets his own tabernacle.  They are obviously feeling out of place.  So, when they actually see what they came there to see, they fall out with terror. (Remember, these three guys had been actually living with Jesus for quite a while before this, and had seen Him do miracle after miracle for them and for others.)  Here are the scriptures that I am talking about:

     Matthew 1: 1-8 NKJV

      17 Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, led them up on a high mountain by   themselves; ² and He was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as the light. ³ And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, talking with Him. ⁴ Then Peter answered and said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, let us^[a] make here three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

⁵ While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!” ⁶ And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their faces and were greatly afraid. ⁷ But Jesus came and touched them and said, “Arise, and do not be afraid.” ⁸ When they had lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only.

This is what I believe that God was speaking to me through this.  This little bump in the road does not diminish the miracles that we have already seen.  When God shows up in our lives and invites us to see something supernatural, it does not require us to earn it or even question it.  In fact, if we don't just choose to keep our eyes on Him, we may miss the experience while we think...or work...or fall on our faces in fear.  For reasons that I can not explain, we have gotten to witness so much.  So, from now on, when I sense the Lord saying," Come over here and watch this, "  I'm just gonna keep my eyes open, keep my mouth shut, and not miss a thing.  My goal is to not question the good ...or the bad...just believe.

I, you, and everyone else  needs to just BE STILL at times while He lets us KNOW that He is GOD.


It is well!  (So very well!)

It Took My Breath Away

Have you ever experienced something that took your breath away?  No, I mean really took your breath away...  not like a roller coaster or a punch to your midsection, but something that was so life changing that the emotion created some sort of pressure gradient that was incompatible with the involuntary action of breathing?   This week I saw a baby born for the first time.  It was wonderful, miraculous, and beautiful, but that wasn't it.  This week I saw an evening sunset sky that literally made me cry and spontaneously worship the Maker of the heavens and the earth, but that wasn't it either.
 
A week ago today, Nick had his first post transplant bone marrow biopsy and a second biopsy on his arm.  We were expecting the results on Monday.  We received the news that he had an outbreak of Graft vs. Host on his arm that was easily treatable, but no word on the bone marrow.   Maybe Tuesday, but no.  Surely by Wednesday...didn't happen.  By Wednesday evening Nick was terrified.  He called me late that night to say that when we did get the results, he did not want to know.  I comforted him the best I could, but there wasn't much that I could say.  It was not a very good night for any of us.

The next morning I went to work with a program introducing healthcare careers to high school kids.  So, my phone was off until about 11:00 a.m.  After the program was over, several of us were sitting around talking, and I realized that I had not checked my phone.  I pulled it from it's hiding place, (Some of you know where that is) and peeked at the screen.  Then it happened.  All of the blood rushed to my head.  My breath was gone and the tears began to flow.  "Leukemia free" was the phrase that I saw.  I think that at that moment there was just so much thankfulness in my heart that there wasn't enough room in my chest cavity for the thankfulness and the air.  The people around me thought I was having some sort of cardiac episode or seizure or something.  So, as soon as I could speak I shared the news.  Everyone in the room was crying by then.

But wait.  There's more.  Today we got the news that Nick is officially converted to Amanda's DNA and blood type, which means that the transplant is officially a success.   Today is day 35...not day 90.  It was supposed to take at least three months.

I know that you probably find this hard to believe, but I do not have any words to express my gratefulness and awe at the events of this week.

All that I can say is...It is well.

Grafted

O.K... So, this is how it was supposed to go:  Tomorrow is day 21, which is hospital discharge day.  Then the process of rebuilding should begin.  The platelets would take a while to rebound and the white count, specifically the neutrophils, would take a bit longer.  We would need to go daily to the stem cell clinic for IV infusions and blood work.  After several weeks we should be able to go every other day, and close to day 100 we should be going back weekly.  This was to be the best case scenario.  No...I don't think so!

As of today, Nick has already been out of the hospital for a week.  We were told that he got out earlier than anyone with the same transplant in the history of Vanderbilt. (If Google is correct, Vanderbilt was established in 1873.) He went to the stem cell clinic daily for four days.  By Saturday his platelets were in normal, average, healthy person range.  We were told early on that his neutrophils had to be at 500 for three days in a row before he would be declared "grafted."  By Sunday they were at 450; Monday  - 850.  They gave us Tuesday off.  Wednesday his neutrophils were 2400, which meant that he was already grafted before the day that he was scheduled to get out of the hospital.  He goes back tomorrow and we will have the entire weekend off.

Grafted?  Where have I heard that word before?  Oh, yes...Romans 11.  Romans graphically (no pun intended) describes how we, as Christians, were not part of the original "Olive tree," but were grafted in to the thriving plant . What in the world does that mean?  I'm glad that you asked.

To put it simply, the nation of Israel grew up from the "root of Jesse" under the covenant that God made with Abraham.  Of course, the "root of Jesse" was always a description of Jesus, but that was not evident until the prophesies of the Old Testament were fulfilled in the birth, life, crucifixion, and resurrection of our Savior.  We, as Gentiles, were not part of the original plant, but God knew from the beginning that there would be a way for us to be a seamless part of his living, growing, thriving planting.

As the book of Romans describes, when we were grafted in, we then started drawing our life and nourishment from the original root.  Jesus, Himself, described this phenomena  in John 15:5:

⁵ “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.

Without our having been grafted in to the original vine (who was directly from the original "root of Jesse") we would not have the life that we now have...and will have for eternity.  The new covenant completely broke us off from our old lives, and spliced us into of a completely different, fruit bearing species.

Nick's blood (where the life is)  was contaminated before.  His marrow that should have been producing oxygen carrying, germ fighting, life sustaining cells began producing mutated cells that could not sustain life.  So, he has gone through the last 9 months of chemo trying to separate the good from the bad (so to speak,) but the mixture just couldn't be separated.  So, the old marrow had to be cut off, and he had to be grafted into a source that was not contaminated...a source that would only produce life.  Sound familiar?

Don't get me wrong.  I am not saying that Amanda is Nick's savior.  I am just pointing out some interesting parallels. I think that God is so sweet to help us understand the difficult things in life, by understanding the plan that He set in motion before the beginning of time.

Roman's 15:12 quotes the Prophet Isaiah from the Old Testament: 

“There shall be a root of Jesse;
And He who shall rise to reign over the Gentiles,
In Him the Gentiles shall hope.”

This is where our hope lies...in the "Root of Jesse"...in the Way, the Truth, and the Life...in Jesus, Himself.  Because of Him we have both hope and life.

It is well.

 

 

Worth The Wait

YEAH!!!!  Nick is out of the hospital.  We were told that he would get out Tuesday, but Wednesday is just as good.  It was 9 days earlier than the minimum stay.  So, all that I can say is PRAISE GOD!!

Amanda took him to the apartment yesterday after he was discharged.  He was very tired and didn't feel very well.  This morning when Amanda got up she went to his room to see if he wanted some breakfast, and found him standing by his computer eating a pecan spin.  He replied to her breakfast question, "No, I have lots of stuff to download before my appointment at 10:00."  Classic Nick...I would say that he is doing just fine.  What a difference a day makes.

4 1/2 years ago Andrew and Amanda had been courting for over a year.  He was literally at our house every night for more than a year.  They didn't date.  They courted.  When a couple begins a courting relationship they have already decided that they will marry, and are committed to wait for all of the married stuff...until they are actually married.

One afternoon Andrew came to the house to show us the ring and ask for Amanda's hand.  We were elated.  He is a wonderful young man!  That same night, Amanda and I were standing in the kitchen talking, and she began to cry...this was the ugly cry...the kind where you can't catch your breath and certainly can not be responsible for where the snot flies.   She was at the end of her rope believing that Andrew was never going to actually ask her.  I had been sworn to secrecy.  So, all that I could do was try to console her...all the while knowing that tomorrow everything would be completely different.

So many times we get to the end our proverbial ropes and give up just short of everything changing.  Is there something or someone on which you are about ready to give up?  What if tomorrow is the pivot point...where everything tips and heads in a different direction.  What if you have to wait another month or another year?  Will it be worth the wait?

This is my prayer and pondering point for the day:

Romans 15:4-6 (NIV)

⁴ For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.  ⁵ May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, ⁶ so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It is well!