It's Wonderful

Nick and Amanda went to Vanderbilt today.  They had a steady stream of healthcare professionals peeking their heads in Nick's room.  Finally the doctor came in.  Amanda described him as a middle eastern man to whom they had to listen closely in order to understand.  They had both seen him before, and  had trust in his abilities.  They expected him to talk about this lab value or that medication, but Mandi said that all he could say was, "It's wonderful...it's wonderful...it's just wonderful..."  Mandi said that it was all she could do to hold back tears as she watched this man who knows well the difference between medicine and miracle say, "It's wonderful."

After several minutes he went on to say that Nick is a well known young man.  Nick replied, "So, I'm popular?"  The doctor agreed and continued to tell them that the oncology department at Vanderbilt has a staff meeting every Friday.  They gather to talk about their patients and glean wisdom from the gathering of wise counsel.  He told him that there has not been one meeting where Nick's name has not been brought up.  Even though his transplant was in January, and we came home April 25th, he continues to be talked about and have his case held up as hope for others who are facing the fight of their lives.  It's wonderful!

As I said yesterday, I have started back reading the Psalms.  Today I read Psalms 2 (and a number of other scriptures as I chased rabbit trails.)  In Psalms 2 the writer is lamenting about the world leaders and warning them that they better align themselves with the Almighty.  In the middle of chapter he also writes prophesy about Jesus being the Son of God as he states:

 ⁷ “I will declare the decree:
The Lord has said to Me,
‘You are My Son,
Today I have begotten You.
⁸ Ask of Me, and I will give You
The nations for Your inheritance,
And the ends of the earth for Your possession.

In John  17, Jesus does just that.  He asks.............................

 How many times in the Word does God tell us to ask, or knock, or seek?  I don't know the answer to that, but the phrase, "a bunch of times", is surely close to accurate.  The point is that God just wants us to ask.

I would imagine that each of you who are reading this blog have asked God for Nick's healing over the past year.  Most of you do not know one another.  You go to different churches.  You sing different songs.  You are young, old, and in between.  You are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, some combination of the others, or something totally different.  You live in different places on the globe, and speaks a multitude of different languages.  However, you all came together as the Body of Christ during the last year and simply asked.


God honored the numerous requests and saw fit to make an example of Nick's case.  At one of the most well know hospitals in the world, all they can say is....It's wonderful.  Even if that doctor does not know who "Wonderful" is (YET), he at least knows that something is different about Nick.


My encouragement to you today is be bold and ask.  


It is...........Wonderful
 

The Hand of God

Wow...talk about disappearing off the face of the earth.  That is exactly what I did.  I can't really explain why I did that, but once it was time to actually come home I just needed some time...to process...to adjust...to come to terms with what we had been through.  If I had had a place where I could have just hidden away to sleep and think I would have.  Alas, one can only carve out hidden moments in day.  It's really not practical to park yourself in a closet for a month or more.

Life is certainly different being home and un-tethered from Vanderbilt.  Nick is doing very well.  He is getting stronger everyday.  His hair is coming back in black & curly, except for the beard circling his chin which, when allowed to grow, comes out bright red.  His hair used to be long and straight with his bangs swept to the side like Justin Bieber's old do.  Although, Nick always swore that he had been wearing that style long before the Biebs began popularizing it.  I tend to believe him.  

He just goes back to Vanderbilt on a monthly basis now.  Amanda is taking him tomorrow for his second monthly visit.  I'm sure that none of you will be surprised to hear that all of his reports have been outstanding.  Except for that one episode of Graft vs Host rash that happened while we were still in Nashville, he has had absolutely no rejection symptoms.  Oh sure, they told us all of the statistics and things to look for in the coming months, but all that we continue to see is the hand of God covering him and restoring what the enemy thought he was gonna steal.

It is still very much a mystery to me what God is going to do with this adventure.  I can see that He is restoring some things and yet others will never be restored....Changes have been made in Nick's body that will never go back to "normal", like numerous aspects of his appearance.  Yet, those things do not matter.  Other changes have been even more profound, and I believe they are wonderfully changed for good, like  maturity, patience, and depth of character. 

This morning I started reading in Psalms 1.  In it God speaks about how we should conduct ourselves:  Don't ask wicked people for advice.  Don't do as sinners do.  Don't look down your nose at those whose lives are not perfect (like any of ours is perfect.)   ...And...Keep your mind on the Word of God.  This scripture says that if you conduct your lives this way, you will be like a tree planted beside a river...strong, nourished, fed, and fruitful.  It even goes on to say that, if you conduct your life and mind in this way, whatever you do will prosper.

As I read this morning, I have to admit that I have been feeling kind of pulled up by the roots.  When this adventure began I was running a successful business, serving as a Music Pastor, and was just about to begin nursing school.  I know that it was the right decision to have closed my business and stepped down from ministry, because I needed to be with Nick.  The Bible is very clear about taking care of your own family first.  However,  now that we are back, I do not yet know where I fit it in.

As I have pondered this scripture further I realize that the metaphor of the tree is just that...a metaphor.  Don't get me wrong.  I believe that each of us should be planted and serving in a local church.  The Bible is clear about that as well.  However, once again God is showing me that the being planted...or moved for a season is not the important part.  The important part is the condition of my heart.  Am I seeking wise counsel from God and his people?  Am I conducting my life in a Godly way?  Am I looking at others with love instead of judgement?  Am I meditating on God's Word?  If the answer is "yes", then I am "like" a tree planted by the river.  Wherever I am, I am strong and being nourished, fed, and fruitful.

Tonight we will be at First Baptist Church in Jackson, TN.  This is where my parents attend, and they have been asked to speak about our adventure and share the miracles that God worked throughout this journey.  Next Wednesday we will be at Northside Methodist, where my sister and her family attend.  She has also been asked to share with her church about what God has done over the last year.  These are only two of the numerous congregations who continuously lifted us up in prayer, and poured into our lives in so many ways.  I am thankful that God has opened these doors for our family to be able to share how tangibly faithful God has been with some of the people who have been so faithful to pray.

I know that I have said it before, but all of you who prayed for us made a huge difference in our lives.  Not only ours, but potentially all of the lives who have heard about our adventure and who will hear as time passes.  He performed miracle after miracle, and my prayer is that this experience will continue to be shared.  We serve a God who is risen, alive, well, all powerful, loving, compassionate, and Who still performs miracles.  It is well.

Struggle or Surrender

What a glorious thing it is to have celebrated, once again, the life of our resurrected Savior.  It is a nearly overwhelming thing to know that our very lives, souls & spirits belong to the One who has defeated death on every level imaginable.

It has been awhile since I have written, and that has been purposeful.  One of my dear friends, Joyce, along with her family, celebrated the passing of her son, Kenny, this week.  Kenny had been diagnosed with cancer a short while before Nick was diagnosed, and this week he won the battle by spending resurrection day in the very presence of the resurrected One.  I have marveled to see, from afar, the grace and joy with which this family has dealt with the temporary sadness of being separated from their loved one.  Kenny was and is in love with Jesus, and so are they.  So, they will be together again in time.  (I feel like breaking into a chorus or two of Blessed Assurance!)

Let me just say...If you do not understand how a Mom could have joy and peace at the passing of her son, please do not let another moment pass without talking with someone about that.  Odds are that as you read this it made you think of someone that you have met who seems to have that peace when everyone else is falling apart.  Call them.  Call me.  Whisper a prayer to ask God who you should call.  Then call whoever comes to mind.  Anyone who has that peace will be happy to drop whatever they are doing and talk to you about it.

Nick is doing very well.  We are now counting down the days until he can come home.  April 25th will be day 100, and that will be here before we know it.  We still do not know what caused the three weeks of fever and sickness, but it is gone now.  They did every test that the gaggle of brilliant minds could imagine, and could find nothing wrong with him.  So, several doctors have called him the "million dollar workup boy."  He seems to be a bit famous among the oncology circles here at Vanderbilt.

One of my major prayers since this all began was that God be glorified in this adventure.  Who knows...maybe he needed to get famous in order to be remembered amongst the myriad of people who are treated here everyday.  Regardless of the whys, our prayer remains the same:  God be glorified!

As I have pondered what my friend and her family have gone through this week, my mind has returned to the desire of my heart.  I know that it has been her's as well.  Joyce is a gifted writer and communicator in a number of ways, and throughout their journey, her faith has been such an encouragement.  A number of times during which both of our son's were critically ill, she went out of her way to give of herself to me.  The love of God exudes from her every pore.

I do not understand why some of us have our days numbered shorter than others.  I do, however, know that Kenny's life glorified God, and the testament of that life will continue to do so.  So many of us struggle to find  what we are "supposed to do" with our lives...when all we really want is to glorify God with the moments that we have.  Even though that is sometimes done through seasons of adversity, it really should not be struggle...a surrender, yes...but not a struggle.  I think that difference is control...who has it?..Us or God?  Not one of us can control whether or not we have another breath, but we can make the choice to surrender to Him.  If life is a struggle...it may be time to surrender.

It is well!

A Flash Of Pink

I just want to share a happy with you all:

My Great Grandmother and Grandfather on my Dad's side, Granny and Grampy Bennett, lived on a working farm close to Benton, IL.  I have fond memories of riding the tractor, chasing the chickens, eating "sticky" popcorn, and finding dropped peacock feathers in the side yard.  Granny kept "pea fowl".  They would make the most awful noises, but they were beautiful.

When Granny passed, my Nana got a Christmas cactus that had been in Granny's parlor forever.  When Nana passed, I brought the cactus home.  I do not have a green thumb, but it really seems to love the spot that I happened to put it in my kitchen.  It has grown by leaps and bounds over the years, and I have had to re-pot it several times.  For years it would bloom at Christmas (hence the name "Christmas cactus") with the most beautiful bright pink flowers.  I would get so excited when I started seeing that hint of pink at the end of each of the deep, true green serrated stalks.  Then within a week or so it would be completely covered in fuchsia.  However, for the last two Christmases it has not bloomed....In fact...It has not bloomed since Nick got sick.

About an hour ago I walked in the kitchen and looked at the cactus, inspecting the branches as I often do.  When I stepped around the far side of the plant something caught my eye:  a flash of pink.  At the end of a single stalk there is a bloom.  It is not yet open, but in the next day or two it will stand out like a candle in the darkness.

I know that this may not sound like much to some of you, but it speaks volumes to me.  As soon as I saw the maturing bloom, I eyed the rest of the plant hoping to find more.  I guess that's what most people would have done.  When we get something that we have desired, it's human nature to want more.  However, I was almost instantly convicted that I really should be thankful for the gift of the day.

Most of this day has been less than stellar.  I let a lot of little things add up to steal my joy.  At one point I was angry for no real reason, and had to walk away before saying something that I knew I would regret.   However, this one little potential bloom has turned it all around.  How goofy is that?  That little pink nub has probably been there for days, but it didn't get brought to my attention until I really needed to see it.

I am thankful for this sweet little desire of my heart being fulfilled, and for the glorious God who brought it about.  It is well.

Our God Pays Attention

<sup>We went to clinic this morning, and Nick still has a low grade temp.  Today it was 99.9.  It's not really considered a fever until it gets to be 100.4 or more.  However, it's more than a degree over normal.  So, there is still something going on that is making him not so normal.  (Yes, I hear some of you saying, "He's not normal because he your son."  Well, that is probably true, but sharing my genetics should not skew his vital signs.) 

He has also started having more nausea, and he has all but lost his appetite.   So, tomorrow he will be having an endoscopy to take some biopsies from his upper GI tract.  He is not stoked at all about having to undergo this, but it should show whether or not he is having some Graft vs. Host reactions.  This could explain all of his symptoms.

If the biopsies are positive for Graft vs. Host (GVHD)  they will give him a higher dose of steroids for a short time, and it will all be better.  They told us today that they would have expected him to have much more GVHD at this point, but I'm not surprised.  For all of the difficult moments, this adventure, on whole, has really been fairly easy.  It is simply God's extreme faithfulness.

For those of you who have not seen my Facebook updates, the last couple of weeks have been challenging.  Nick has been out of the hospital; back to the E.R. the same night; back in the hospital; and now he is out.  He is certainly better than 2 weeks ago, but we are still awaiting answers.

As I started to write this afternoon, I immediately thought of a specific happening in the Old Testament.  King Ahab was married to Jezebel, the nasty queen who's life's mission was to kill the Prophets of God.  There had been a drought in the land for 3 years, and the situation was grave.  So God told the Prophet Elijah to go and present himself to King Ahab, and He would send rain.

As Elijah was on his way, he ran into Obadiah.  He was a faithful believer who worked for Ahab, and had risked everything to save and care for 100 of God's Prophets...even though his boss' wife wanted them dead.  When Obadiah saw Elijah, he recognized him immediately.  Elijah told Obadiah to go and tell his boss that Elijah wanted to see him, but that was not what Obadiah wanted to hear.  I imagine that he just rolled his eyes at Elijah and he basically said,"What have I done wrong?  Are you trying to get me killed too?  I can't go and tell Ahab that I have talked to you...or had anything to do with you.   Who knows where God will send you in the mean time.  Then when you are not around, Ahab will kill me dead.  Don't you know about those 100 guys I saved?"  Obadiah was freaking out, and he knew that this was not going end well.  However, Elijah re-assured him, and Obadiah did as he had been told.</sup>

^{I Kings 18 (NIV)}

¹⁶ So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. ¹⁷ When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” ¹⁸ “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the LORD’s commands and have followed the Baals. ¹⁹ Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”

^{So 850 of the false gods prophets showed up, along with countless people from all over Israel.  It was surely billed as the show down of the century.} 

 ²¹ Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

 ^{Elijah told the 850 that they could get started by preparing a sacrifice, and that he would do the same.}

²⁴ Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God.”  Then all the people said, “What you say is good.” ²⁵ Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.” ²⁶ So they took the bull given them and prepared it.

^{The false prophets hooted and hollered, cried and screamed, flailed about and cut themselves until they were nearly bleeding out.  Then the Bible says,  " there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention."  They were awaiting an answer, but it was never going to come.  They carried on for the half a day, and Elijah had had enough.  He prepared an altar, cut up his sacrifice, and had it drenched with water...just to make sure that the people could see how miraculous it was going to be when God set it on fire.} 

  ³⁶ At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. ³⁷ Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” ³⁸ Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. ³⁹ When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God!” 

God had answered powerfully and immediately, but how about that no rain for 3 years thing.  After the showdown, Elijah sent his servant to look toward the sea and report back about any rain clouds that he saw.  Over and over again the servant came back to report that the sky was as clear as a bell, but Elijah did not give up.  He knew that this God that he served was extremely faithful.  On the 7th time that the servant went to look, he returned with a report that he saw a cloud about the size of a man's hand.  That was all Elijah needed to hear.  He immediately sent word to Ahab that he had better head out because the roads were about to get washed away with the torrential rains.

On the same day...same Prophet...same God...One time there was an immediate answer, and one time he had to wait until the 7th time that he believed.  Even then, he only saw a tiny improvement across the horizon.

I see improvement, and I still believe.

It is well.

Patience...If It Were Easy, Everyone Would Be Doing It.

A dear friend of mine and I had an online discussion last night that sparked an internal conversation.  As we talked, she encouraged me that her family would continue to pray for wisdom and peace.  However, she further stated that they would not pray for us to have patience.  I agreed and we shortly discussed how patience should be a four letter word.  I told her that the faith part was easy, but that patience thing...well, that's another story.  Then I got to thinking.  Isn't that just one of the sweet things about our Heavenly Father.  He doesn't usually hit us over the head with things.  He prompts a dear friend to make a joke that nearly every christian has made before, and somehow, this time, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

At this point, I'm not sure that patience can be separated from faith.  I mean...without one...the other has little effect.  How valuable is it to have faith in God, but only if He operates in my timetable?  What other demonstration of faith do we have other than the patience that allows us to rest in His sovereignty?

I don't like needing patience (not one little bit), but the lack of it shows lack of faith...not only in God, but in our children, spouses, co-workers, students, etc.  Maybe we should stop considering "patience" a dirty word, and see that it is but one demonstration of love toward Him (and others) that He wants cultivated in our lives.

I need and desire for God and people to have patience with me.  So, I'm going to make a bold statement:  If you feel so led, pray for us to have patience.  It will only foster greater faith and God's intervention in our lives.  You might want to try it for yourself too.  (Just a suggestion.)

We are, by the grace of God, still awaiting answers to Nick's current difficulties.  Answers are coming, and it's all going to be O.K.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

 ²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

It is well!

No-Brainer???

Nick is back in the hospital tonight.  Even though hypovolemia seemed like a no-brainer...voluminous fluids did not help.  So, fluid volume is not the problem.  He still has the headaches; blood pressure that drops when he sits or stands; and pulse that races when he sits or stands.  It is a quandary.

This is one of those times where I just need to keep my eyes open & my mouth shut while I wait for God to do His thing.  (It's O.K. to pray with your eyes open.)   I wish that I had the answer right now, but it's almost as good to be confident that the answer is coming.  I know in Whom I have believed...

It is well!