So, I was sitting in church yesterday just minding my own business and my Pastor began reading from the book of Mark. The scripture hit me like a ton of bricks:
Mark 8:27-29 (NIV) Jesus and His disciples went on to the villages around Caesarea Philippi. On the way He asked them, "Who do people say I am?" 28 They replied, "Some say John the Baptist, other say Elijah, and still others, one of the prophets." 29 "But what about you?" He asked. "Who do you say I am?" Peter answered, "You are the Messiah."
Over the last couple of weeks I have heard and seen so many mentions on the subject of rejection, and when I heard this scripture it just seemed to make sense. (BTW - when you hear something mentioned over and over you probably need to think about it.) He wasn't preaching about rejection. So, I got two lessons in one.
I am absolutely positive that everyone reading this has had his or her share of rejection in life: as a child in school, in the workplace, in family relationships, in romantic relationships, and even in church. Can you relate? I can! Many times the people that matter most to us are the ones that hurt us the most deeply. We open ourselves up. We trust. We build up expectations. We rely upon them, and then the rejection hits us like a ton of bricks. So, why does this happen? Why does it hurt even more than a death? Why is it so often completely crippling?
I believe that the answers to those questions are in the questions themselves...and in the questions that Jesus asked His disciples. Please do not get me wrong. God created us to have emotions. He gave us tears that cause not only an emotional release, but a physical release as well. He even made sure that we would understand that Holy Spirit is on the job when we are mourning. (Matthew 5:4 NIV "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." He sees our suffering, and King David went so far as to say that God keeps track of every one of our tears. (Psalm 56:8 CEB "You yourself have kept track of my misery. Put my tears into your bottle—aren’t they on your scroll already?")
So, God expects us to be sad and mourn at the loss of someone or something important. However, He does not expect or want us to allow the loss to destroy us. There is a time for mourning, and then we must get on with life. As followers of Christ, we know that He literally died to pay our sin debt. He is the lover of our souls. He is to be the director of our lives and the definer of our beings. Right? He says that everything that we need for life and Godliness comes from Him. Right? He also says that we are going to experience troubles in life, but that we should not fear when troubles come because He has already overcome it all. Right?
I can hear all of you Christ followers out there saying Yes and shaking your heads up and down. So, why is it that we allow mere humans to crush our souls? Why do we left flawed people define us? Why do we take our cues about our worth and destiny from people who do not behave responsibly with their own lives? Why?
I believe that it is because we are asking Jesus' first question instead of His second. When Jesus asked His disciples who people thought He was, He got all kinds of answers. The bottom line was that nobody really seemed to know, but everyone had an opinion. Do you feel like that?...everyone has an opinion about you, but no one really seems to know you? Of course, that is human nature. We form opinions from what we have heard or seen whether or not it is factual. The problem comes when we allow those opinions to define us. We, as Christ followers, have got to stop asking, "who do people say I am, " and start asking God, "who do YOU say that I am?" We have got to stop giving people the power to shape us, and allow our Creator to finish His work in us.
I am not saying that God does not use people to help us grow and mature. On the contrary, I believe that He uses all kinds of things to speak to us. I am, however, simply saying that the voice of God comes from the perspective of loving us and building us up. Sometimes that means pointing out something that needs to change in our lives, but He never...ever....ever brings condemnation. His voice is comforting even when it brings conviction. He is the very essence of love. So, that is how we can tell the difference. Rejection and condemnation go hand in hand. They are not from God, and their opinions should not be considered. The only opinion that we should consider is that of our Maker. He actually knows the truth and loves us anyway!
It is well.
Monday, February 23, 2015
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Scrubs Blessing
As most of you know, Amanda and I have recently passed our Nursing
Boards and received our licenses as RN's. We are so excited to begin
this new season in life Next week I will start my residency, and Amanda
is looking for a nursing position in Nashville.
The last few years have been full of trials, but as the title of this blog proclaims, they have also been full of blessings and the sovereign provision of God. Let me tell you about just one of those blessings:
A few weeks ago I received an email asking if I would be willing to try some nurse scrubs and write a review. I agreed and received a white Dickies Scrubs top. I honestly did not know what to expect, but it is great. The style that I received is a mock wrap with a band below the bust line that gives it some feminine shape. I'm not a fan of loose, boxy scrubs. The pockets are well positioned and big enough to be useful, but not so big that things get lost in them. (I have some other scrubs with kangaroo pockets, and they are just way too big.) The fabric is a poly/cotton blend. It is soft, but still looks crisp and professional. The cut is comfortable, and the top is true to size. I have washed it 3 times so far, and the top comes out of the dryer without needing ironing. That is a huge plus for me! As I told the company representative, I'll be ordering some more of the same style.
Check out www.uniformedscrubs.com, and use the coupon code "trueblue" for a 15% discount until August 31st, 2013
Uniformed Scrubs on Facebook
Uniformed Scrubs Blog
Uniformed Scrubs Google plus
Uniformed Scrubs on Pinterest
Follow Uniformed scrubs on Twitter @UniformedScrubs
It is well!
The last few years have been full of trials, but as the title of this blog proclaims, they have also been full of blessings and the sovereign provision of God. Let me tell you about just one of those blessings:
A few weeks ago I received an email asking if I would be willing to try some nurse scrubs and write a review. I agreed and received a white Dickies Scrubs top. I honestly did not know what to expect, but it is great. The style that I received is a mock wrap with a band below the bust line that gives it some feminine shape. I'm not a fan of loose, boxy scrubs. The pockets are well positioned and big enough to be useful, but not so big that things get lost in them. (I have some other scrubs with kangaroo pockets, and they are just way too big.) The fabric is a poly/cotton blend. It is soft, but still looks crisp and professional. The cut is comfortable, and the top is true to size. I have washed it 3 times so far, and the top comes out of the dryer without needing ironing. That is a huge plus for me! As I told the company representative, I'll be ordering some more of the same style.
Check out www.uniformedscrubs.com, and use the coupon code "trueblue" for a 15% discount until August 31st, 2013
Uniformed Scrubs on Facebook
Uniformed Scrubs Blog
Uniformed Scrubs Google plus
Uniformed Scrubs on Pinterest
Follow Uniformed scrubs on Twitter @UniformedScrubs
It is well!
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Through God's Eyes
For at least a couple of decades, among many other things, I have prayed for God to teach me to love through His eyes. What I mean by this is that I desire to see people the way He sees them. Not that I want know their secrets, but that I want to see the good that may not be obvious on the surface. I simply want to have God's mindset instead of my own, and His mindset is so very different than the way our minds naturally think and reason. I'm a work in progress.
This morning, again in John, I was reading the account of Jesus having gone to the temple and overturned the money changers table. (John 2:12-25) When I read the last couple of verses I had my ah ha moment for today:
John 2:23-25 (Amp) "23 But when He was in Jerusalem during the Passover Feast, many
believed in His name [identified themselves with His party] after seeing His signs (wonders,
miracles) which He was doing. 24 But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them,
because He knew all [men]; 25 And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning
man [needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself knew what was in
human nature. [He could read men's hearts.]"
So, if I understand this correctly, during this trip to Jerusalem there were numerous people who saw the things that Jesus did and believed that He was truly the Messiah. We know from earlier in John 2 that He had turned the water into wine, and He must have done some others things as well that were just not recorded. Nevertheless, these people saw and believed, but Jesus knew what was in their hearts and it is recorded that He did not trust them. So, He did not stay around to invest time in them.
In whom did He invest time? Who did he trust? Let's see...we'll there was Matthew. He was a tax collector, a liar, a cheat, a consorter with all manor of what we would call low life. Peter was a hothead who cut off a guy's ear and completely denied Christ 3 times. Andrew was Peter's baby brother. He was sort of a shy, thinker type with apparently no leadership skills, but he was a good guy. Then there were the Sons of Thunder, James and John, aptly given this name because they were a bit over the top. They were ready to torch a village by calling down fire from heaven when some people in the village rejected Jesus. They also had a "stage Mom" who kept lobbying Jesus for her babies to have the best seats in Heaven when all was said and done. Additionally, John obviously had a problem with pride. He openly called himself, "the disciple whom Jesus loved," and only referred to the other disciples by their given names. Phillip was an all around good guy. He jumped right into following Jesus by telling his friend Nathaniel about the Messiah. Nathaniel, who later became Bartholomew, needed a minute to get rid of his skepticism. He was also a good guy, but was a bit prejudiced about Jesus' hometown. Thomas doubted everything. (Maybe he was from Missouri?) Even though he eventually did believe, Jesus had to go out of his way to prove who He was to Thomas. Then there were three guys who did not really distinguish themselves: The other James, Thaddeus, and Simon the Zealot. We do not know much about them, but in order to fit into this group they probably had some sort of quirks. Last but not least is Judas Iscariot. We all know that he betrayed Jesus with a kiss for the price of 30 pieces of silver. He was the group's treasurer and stole from the treasury. This was a deceitful, completely untrustworthy scoundrel, and Jesus knew his heart from the beginning.
This group seems like an overall mess, yet these were the guys in whom He invested His time. Guys with which He trusted the keys to the Kingdom. Except for a couple of the innocuous personalities we would never peg these guys as the ones that Jesus would choose and deem trustworthy. However, with all of their flaws and foibles, both past and present, He recognized 11 hearts that were ready to be sold out for Jesus. Jesus saw past their appearance, circumstance, personality, and habits. He saw the core of their hearts and knew that these were mighty men who, with some training, would set the world on fire for Christ.
I don't know why the people in Jerusalem were not trustworthy, and I don't know why, except for fulfillment of prophecy, that Jesus chose Judas. I do, however, know that I want to be able to see beyond people's quirks and flaws. I want to be able to look past a person's ways and see his/her heart. I want to be able to love like Jesus loves you and me. I want to be able to love, and to be loved by others, through God's eyes.
It is well!
This morning, again in John, I was reading the account of Jesus having gone to the temple and overturned the money changers table. (John 2:12-25) When I read the last couple of verses I had my ah ha moment for today:
John 2:23-25 (Amp) "23 But when He was in Jerusalem during the Passover Feast, many
believed in His name [identified themselves with His party] after seeing His signs (wonders,
miracles) which He was doing. 24 But Jesus [for His part] did not trust Himself to them,
because He knew all [men]; 25 And He did not need anyone to bear witness concerning
man [needed no evidence from anyone about men], for He Himself knew what was in
human nature. [He could read men's hearts.]"
So, if I understand this correctly, during this trip to Jerusalem there were numerous people who saw the things that Jesus did and believed that He was truly the Messiah. We know from earlier in John 2 that He had turned the water into wine, and He must have done some others things as well that were just not recorded. Nevertheless, these people saw and believed, but Jesus knew what was in their hearts and it is recorded that He did not trust them. So, He did not stay around to invest time in them.
In whom did He invest time? Who did he trust? Let's see...we'll there was Matthew. He was a tax collector, a liar, a cheat, a consorter with all manor of what we would call low life. Peter was a hothead who cut off a guy's ear and completely denied Christ 3 times. Andrew was Peter's baby brother. He was sort of a shy, thinker type with apparently no leadership skills, but he was a good guy. Then there were the Sons of Thunder, James and John, aptly given this name because they were a bit over the top. They were ready to torch a village by calling down fire from heaven when some people in the village rejected Jesus. They also had a "stage Mom" who kept lobbying Jesus for her babies to have the best seats in Heaven when all was said and done. Additionally, John obviously had a problem with pride. He openly called himself, "the disciple whom Jesus loved," and only referred to the other disciples by their given names. Phillip was an all around good guy. He jumped right into following Jesus by telling his friend Nathaniel about the Messiah. Nathaniel, who later became Bartholomew, needed a minute to get rid of his skepticism. He was also a good guy, but was a bit prejudiced about Jesus' hometown. Thomas doubted everything. (Maybe he was from Missouri?) Even though he eventually did believe, Jesus had to go out of his way to prove who He was to Thomas. Then there were three guys who did not really distinguish themselves: The other James, Thaddeus, and Simon the Zealot. We do not know much about them, but in order to fit into this group they probably had some sort of quirks. Last but not least is Judas Iscariot. We all know that he betrayed Jesus with a kiss for the price of 30 pieces of silver. He was the group's treasurer and stole from the treasury. This was a deceitful, completely untrustworthy scoundrel, and Jesus knew his heart from the beginning.
This group seems like an overall mess, yet these were the guys in whom He invested His time. Guys with which He trusted the keys to the Kingdom. Except for a couple of the innocuous personalities we would never peg these guys as the ones that Jesus would choose and deem trustworthy. However, with all of their flaws and foibles, both past and present, He recognized 11 hearts that were ready to be sold out for Jesus. Jesus saw past their appearance, circumstance, personality, and habits. He saw the core of their hearts and knew that these were mighty men who, with some training, would set the world on fire for Christ.
I don't know why the people in Jerusalem were not trustworthy, and I don't know why, except for fulfillment of prophecy, that Jesus chose Judas. I do, however, know that I want to be able to see beyond people's quirks and flaws. I want to be able to look past a person's ways and see his/her heart. I want to be able to love like Jesus loves you and me. I want to be able to love, and to be loved by others, through God's eyes.
It is well!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Can Anything Good Come From Nazareth?
This is the first of what I hope to be a regular inspiration sharing session. For the past two years I have shared mostly about God's provision in the healing process of our son. However, being fed daily from God's Word is just as important as any other aspect of our lives. So, now that that season has ended, it's time to begin a new one.
I started reading again this morning in the book of John. The first chapter sets the stage for who Jesus really is. So, if you are wondering who He is...that would be a great place to start. (You can Google "John 1" and read it in any number of versions. I suggest the New Living Translation, especially if this is new to you.)
Background: Jesus had just begun being known by His true identity: "...the unique One, who is Himself God..." (John 1, 17) John the Baptist had been announcing His impending arrival, and there He was. God had instructed John the Baptist that when he saw the Holy Spirit descending upon someone he would know that that was Jesus. So, when John baptized Jesus and saw the sign, he knew for sure that Jesus was the One that he had been announcing for so long. Jesus then began gathering his disciples. One of His disciples, Philip, went to look for a friend of his named Nathaniel. When he told Nathaniel about Jesus being the Messiah prophesied by Moses, Philip said, "..His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth." (John 1:45)
""Nazareth!" exclaimed Nathanael. "Can anything good come from Nazareth?..."" (John 1:46) This is the thing that jumped out at me today. Nazareth was known as a small, very unimportant place. Nathanael was basically saying that he knew about Nazareth, and no one who is anyone comes from Nazareth. No, that couldn't be right. The Messiah was to be the biggest deal ever. There was no way that this could be right.
Later on in the text Jesus, Himself, calls Nathanael "...a man of complete integrity." (John 1:47) So, if Nathanael was a man of complete integrity, how could he jump to such a conclusion? How could this man of character get it so wrong? How could this completely trustworthy, wise council of a man be so wrong about something so important? The answer is that he was a man, and he jumped to a conclusion just like you and I do. He had probably heard comments about Nazareth all of his life. Evidently Nazareth had a reputation that had not been proven wrong. So, as far as everyone knew, the reputation was fact.
I started to write that I didn't know about you, but I do know. We have all been the Nathanael who jumps to a conclusion, and we have all been the one about which the conclusion was drawn. It seems to be our nature as humans to gather tidbits, often unwittingly, about a person or situation. We take on others opinions, prejudices, and offenses without even realizing that we have done it. Then we act on the gathered tidbits as though they were fact, when in reality, they may be completely erroneous. Very often the cases that we have built in our minds seem ironclad. We can't even imagine than we could be wrong. "Nazareth!...Can anything good come from Nazareth?..." Oh my, yes!
Nathanael very quickly found out that he was wrong, and proclaimed that Jesus was who He said He was. However, it usually doesn't happen so quickly with us. People's lives, livelihoods, relationships, ministries, families, and much more can be destroyed so very easily. All of us know that we are not perfect, but we expect grace and mercy for ourselves. However, we tend to be very stingy when giving the same. We want the benefit of the doubt for ourselves, but find it hard to give.
As Christians, Jesus is our example. He never threw away anyone. Yes, He rebuked the religious leaders who were behaving badly, but He didn't reject them. If they had repented there would surely have been full forgiveness. This is what we all want for ourselves. We want to know that when, not if, but when we mess up we will be able to find forgiveness and restoration. We want to know that we will not be defined by someone else's opinion of us, and that we will not be defined by any real or imagined mistakes of the past. Is this what you want for yourself? I do.
So, if this is what we want, then this is what we must give. I am not saying that we must trust someone who has proven himself untrustworthy. There are people who are unrepentant and delight in evil. I am simply saying that to comport our lives as true Christians we must strive to follow the words of Jesus in Luke 6:31. "Do to others as you would like them to do to you." (...even if they do not act that way in return.)
It is well.
I started reading again this morning in the book of John. The first chapter sets the stage for who Jesus really is. So, if you are wondering who He is...that would be a great place to start. (You can Google "John 1" and read it in any number of versions. I suggest the New Living Translation, especially if this is new to you.)
Background: Jesus had just begun being known by His true identity: "...the unique One, who is Himself God..." (John 1, 17) John the Baptist had been announcing His impending arrival, and there He was. God had instructed John the Baptist that when he saw the Holy Spirit descending upon someone he would know that that was Jesus. So, when John baptized Jesus and saw the sign, he knew for sure that Jesus was the One that he had been announcing for so long. Jesus then began gathering his disciples. One of His disciples, Philip, went to look for a friend of his named Nathaniel. When he told Nathaniel about Jesus being the Messiah prophesied by Moses, Philip said, "..His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth." (John 1:45)
""Nazareth!" exclaimed Nathanael. "Can anything good come from Nazareth?..."" (John 1:46) This is the thing that jumped out at me today. Nazareth was known as a small, very unimportant place. Nathanael was basically saying that he knew about Nazareth, and no one who is anyone comes from Nazareth. No, that couldn't be right. The Messiah was to be the biggest deal ever. There was no way that this could be right.
Later on in the text Jesus, Himself, calls Nathanael "...a man of complete integrity." (John 1:47) So, if Nathanael was a man of complete integrity, how could he jump to such a conclusion? How could this man of character get it so wrong? How could this completely trustworthy, wise council of a man be so wrong about something so important? The answer is that he was a man, and he jumped to a conclusion just like you and I do. He had probably heard comments about Nazareth all of his life. Evidently Nazareth had a reputation that had not been proven wrong. So, as far as everyone knew, the reputation was fact.
I started to write that I didn't know about you, but I do know. We have all been the Nathanael who jumps to a conclusion, and we have all been the one about which the conclusion was drawn. It seems to be our nature as humans to gather tidbits, often unwittingly, about a person or situation. We take on others opinions, prejudices, and offenses without even realizing that we have done it. Then we act on the gathered tidbits as though they were fact, when in reality, they may be completely erroneous. Very often the cases that we have built in our minds seem ironclad. We can't even imagine than we could be wrong. "Nazareth!...Can anything good come from Nazareth?..." Oh my, yes!
Nathanael very quickly found out that he was wrong, and proclaimed that Jesus was who He said He was. However, it usually doesn't happen so quickly with us. People's lives, livelihoods, relationships, ministries, families, and much more can be destroyed so very easily. All of us know that we are not perfect, but we expect grace and mercy for ourselves. However, we tend to be very stingy when giving the same. We want the benefit of the doubt for ourselves, but find it hard to give.
As Christians, Jesus is our example. He never threw away anyone. Yes, He rebuked the religious leaders who were behaving badly, but He didn't reject them. If they had repented there would surely have been full forgiveness. This is what we all want for ourselves. We want to know that when, not if, but when we mess up we will be able to find forgiveness and restoration. We want to know that we will not be defined by someone else's opinion of us, and that we will not be defined by any real or imagined mistakes of the past. Is this what you want for yourself? I do.
So, if this is what we want, then this is what we must give. I am not saying that we must trust someone who has proven himself untrustworthy. There are people who are unrepentant and delight in evil. I am simply saying that to comport our lives as true Christians we must strive to follow the words of Jesus in Luke 6:31. "Do to others as you would like them to do to you." (...even if they do not act that way in return.)
It is well.
The Answer: Just One More!
How many life changing events can one cram into one weekend? The answer: Just one more! You might as well get a cup of coffee and sit down because it might take a few minutes to catch you up. So much has happened since my last post. Nick is doing so well! He finished the photo pheresis in January and his exit bone marrow biopsy was 100% clean. Tests also show that he is 110% converted to Amanda's immune system. (I know that that is an impossible figure, but that is what we were told. I'm sure that it was just for effect and should be taken as such.)
Later this Spring Nick started back to work. He still can not go back to the E.R. (too many germs) yet, but he is loving his job. If you ever have the occasion to visit Jackson Madison County General Hospital and hear a man's voice over the P.A., that will be Nick.
O.K....now for the big news: Last weekend Nick married Kate. We could not be happier! She is a wonderful young woman, and they appear to be deliriously happy. They wanted a small, intimate wedding. So, it was just for immediate family. It was beautiful and peaceful and just what they wanted. (Please do not feel obligated by this statement, but I know that many of you will ask. They are registered at Target & Bed, Bath and Beyond.) I can not express to you how elated I am that Nick has the opportunity to start his life as an adult. Just the fact that he has a life to begin continually puts me in awe. God is good, and it is well!
Also, last weekend, Amanda, Megan, and I graduated from Nursing School. Megan earned her BSN. She has been an RN for many years, but is in the process of furthering her education. Amanda & I earned our ADN's and will be taking our Boards to become RN's in about a month. It was an action packed weekend, to say the least. I will begin a Residency program in either July or August, depending upon when I get scheduled to take Boards. Then, Megan and I will both be beginning our Masters in Nursing programs in the Fall. We will be busy bees, but we are sort of used to that.
I will leave you with this tidbit from my morning's reading:
John 1:4 (NLT) "So the Word became human and made His home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness...."
This is the God that we serve. Even as a man on this earth corrupted by sin, He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. He was not almost full, or half full, or running on empty. He was full to the sloshing brim. He had no lack of love and faithfulness. Even when betrayed and condemned to the cross His tank remained full. Love and Faithfulness...two character qualities that are never conditional with Jesus, and should never be conditional with us.
It is well.
Later this Spring Nick started back to work. He still can not go back to the E.R. (too many germs) yet, but he is loving his job. If you ever have the occasion to visit Jackson Madison County General Hospital and hear a man's voice over the P.A., that will be Nick.
O.K....now for the big news: Last weekend Nick married Kate. We could not be happier! She is a wonderful young woman, and they appear to be deliriously happy. They wanted a small, intimate wedding. So, it was just for immediate family. It was beautiful and peaceful and just what they wanted. (Please do not feel obligated by this statement, but I know that many of you will ask. They are registered at Target & Bed, Bath and Beyond.) I can not express to you how elated I am that Nick has the opportunity to start his life as an adult. Just the fact that he has a life to begin continually puts me in awe. God is good, and it is well!
Also, last weekend, Amanda, Megan, and I graduated from Nursing School. Megan earned her BSN. She has been an RN for many years, but is in the process of furthering her education. Amanda & I earned our ADN's and will be taking our Boards to become RN's in about a month. It was an action packed weekend, to say the least. I will begin a Residency program in either July or August, depending upon when I get scheduled to take Boards. Then, Megan and I will both be beginning our Masters in Nursing programs in the Fall. We will be busy bees, but we are sort of used to that.
I will leave you with this tidbit from my morning's reading:
 |
| On my kitchen chalkboard this morning |
John 1:4 (NLT) "So the Word became human and made His home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness...."
This is the God that we serve. Even as a man on this earth corrupted by sin, He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. He was not almost full, or half full, or running on empty. He was full to the sloshing brim. He had no lack of love and faithfulness. Even when betrayed and condemned to the cross His tank remained full. Love and Faithfulness...two character qualities that are never conditional with Jesus, and should never be conditional with us.
It is well.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Just Don't Forget!
I would imagine that most of you know what has been going on with us for the last couple of months, but it's way past time to catch up the blog. The month of June was fairly uneventful. I was taking Pharmacology and Pathophysiology in a whirlwind, short summer semester that just about made my head spin. As of last Thursday, both classes are now successfully completed.
(I regress a bit...but it's for clarity.) Since Nick's transplant in January he has been taking Cyclosporin, an anti-rejection drug. It allowed his body to fully settle in to his immune system's change of command that was brought on by the stem cell transplant. When we came home in April, they began slowly weaning him off of the Cyclosporin. Most people have multiple episodes of the rejection reaction, GVHD, but Nick had only had a couple of minor rashes due to GVHD while we were still in Nashville. His doctors had marveled that he had had no reaction since coming home.
(Fast forward back to a few weeks ago.) Three days before he was to be completely off of the Cyclosporin, he had a reaction. I got home that morning from having taken an 8:00 a.m. exam, and he had a rash. It was not a big rash, but coupled with the upset stomach he had had all weekend, I knew we needed to go to Vanderbilt. GVHD manifests in the GI tract, on the skin, and in the eyes. Nick called them as we were preparing to walk out the door, and they asked us how soon we could get there. When we left Jackson he had a rash on his leg about the size of a grapefruit. When we got to Nashville he was literally covered head to toe. He kind of looked like one of the Chic Fil-A cows...except his spots were RED and white.
The doctor and nurse-practitioner both told us that it was so great that we came that day because at the rate the reaction was progressing, they were not sure if it could have been reversed if we had waited another day. (Thank you, God!!!) The treatment for this reaction is to re-start cyclosporin at therapeutic levels and re-start high dose steroids. If that was not successful in eliminating the rash within 3 days he would need to start photo pheresis sometime in the future. Nick's doctor said that he would really like for Nick to go ahead with photo pheresis, but since it is so very, very expensive, and not within the protocols for first-line treatment, insurance would not pay for it until we waited out the other treatment...BUT...there was a clinical research study that had just started. It was studying whether photo pheresis should be first line treatment, and Nick might be a candidate for the study.
The doctor explained to us that photo pheresis had been used since 1991, and that it had been clinically shown to provide much better, long term quality of life for leukemia survivors. In this process...three times a week... they would hook Nick to a machine; remove some blood; spin it down to separate the red blood cells, plasma, and white blood cells; give him back the red blood cells & plasma; treat the white blood cells with a cytotoxic agent called MOP-8; expose the white blood cells to ultraviolet light (which activates the MOP-8), and give him back the mixture. The MOP-8 then acts as a marker to target the white blood cell that are misbehaving, and Nick's immune system would kill the renegades and train the other white cells to not misbehave in the future. This treatment has been successfully shown to reduce the incidence of GVHD exponentially. If he were accepted to the study and randomly chosen for photo pheresis, the research study would pay for the procedure and our insurance would cover the medicine.
As you might have guessed, Nick was accepted to the study and placed on photo pheresis. So, now we are once again traveling I40 east & west...2 to 3 times a week from July, 2012 thru January, 2013. Nick is feeling very well, and has even made the drive all by himself a couple of times. He is so ready to get back to normal life (whatever that is??????)
A couple of weeks ago I started following this Bible reading plan that takes you through the Bible in chronological order. I don't remember ever having read it through like that. So, I started. I am now in the book of Job. As you probably know, Job was a man who trusted God fully, and was extremely blessed in all that he did. God trusted in Job's character as well. As the story goes, one day satan asked God if he could test Job. The evil one believed that if all of Job's blessing were taken away he would curse God and turn away. So, God allowed Job to be tested, but stipulated that he could not harm Job physically. In a single day all of Job's children and possession were taken away, but Job did not sin. He simply trusted.
Seeing that he was a failure, satan once again asked God for permission to test Job. God granted the second request, but said that satan could not take Job's life. So, Job found himself covered in boils, rotted flesh, and being eaten upon by worms. Job's wife told him that he should just curse God and die, but Job remained faithful. Within the long story of Job's plight he was visited by a number of friends, and it is during such a visit, in the text, while a "friend" is telling Job that he really needs to get some wise counseling, that I found the following tidbit:
Job 8:13-15 (NIV) "Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless.
14 What they trust in is fragile; what they rely on is a spider's web. 15 They lean on the web,
but it gives way; they cling to it, but it does not hold."
This scripture jumped out at me like a flash of lightening..."Such is the destiny of all who forget God..."
I stopped reading and prayed and thought. Have there been times when I have focused on our plight instead of being encouraged by the victories? Yes. Have there been moments when it seemed like this time period of trial would never end? Yes. However, even though it has been very hard at times we have not forgotten Who has taken us through this valley, and blessed us in the midst of it. We have never leaned on God and found Him fragile...Oh no...to the contrary! He has been that immovable force, that rock, that shield, that presence that we can neither deny nor understand. Why did my son have to deal with cancer? I have no idea, but I do know one thing: We are not without hope! We will not forget! (O.k., maybe that's two things??)
Whatever it is that you are facing today...you do not have to be strong enough on your own...just please do not forget where your hope lies. Regardless of how it feels, you have not been forsaken. You are not being punished, and you are very much loved...right where you are. You may not feel strong enough to do much. So, just start by remembering.
It is well, and we will remember that!
(I regress a bit...but it's for clarity.) Since Nick's transplant in January he has been taking Cyclosporin, an anti-rejection drug. It allowed his body to fully settle in to his immune system's change of command that was brought on by the stem cell transplant. When we came home in April, they began slowly weaning him off of the Cyclosporin. Most people have multiple episodes of the rejection reaction, GVHD, but Nick had only had a couple of minor rashes due to GVHD while we were still in Nashville. His doctors had marveled that he had had no reaction since coming home.
(Fast forward back to a few weeks ago.) Three days before he was to be completely off of the Cyclosporin, he had a reaction. I got home that morning from having taken an 8:00 a.m. exam, and he had a rash. It was not a big rash, but coupled with the upset stomach he had had all weekend, I knew we needed to go to Vanderbilt. GVHD manifests in the GI tract, on the skin, and in the eyes. Nick called them as we were preparing to walk out the door, and they asked us how soon we could get there. When we left Jackson he had a rash on his leg about the size of a grapefruit. When we got to Nashville he was literally covered head to toe. He kind of looked like one of the Chic Fil-A cows...except his spots were RED and white.
The doctor and nurse-practitioner both told us that it was so great that we came that day because at the rate the reaction was progressing, they were not sure if it could have been reversed if we had waited another day. (Thank you, God!!!) The treatment for this reaction is to re-start cyclosporin at therapeutic levels and re-start high dose steroids. If that was not successful in eliminating the rash within 3 days he would need to start photo pheresis sometime in the future. Nick's doctor said that he would really like for Nick to go ahead with photo pheresis, but since it is so very, very expensive, and not within the protocols for first-line treatment, insurance would not pay for it until we waited out the other treatment...BUT...there was a clinical research study that had just started. It was studying whether photo pheresis should be first line treatment, and Nick might be a candidate for the study.
The doctor explained to us that photo pheresis had been used since 1991, and that it had been clinically shown to provide much better, long term quality of life for leukemia survivors. In this process...three times a week... they would hook Nick to a machine; remove some blood; spin it down to separate the red blood cells, plasma, and white blood cells; give him back the red blood cells & plasma; treat the white blood cells with a cytotoxic agent called MOP-8; expose the white blood cells to ultraviolet light (which activates the MOP-8), and give him back the mixture. The MOP-8 then acts as a marker to target the white blood cell that are misbehaving, and Nick's immune system would kill the renegades and train the other white cells to not misbehave in the future. This treatment has been successfully shown to reduce the incidence of GVHD exponentially. If he were accepted to the study and randomly chosen for photo pheresis, the research study would pay for the procedure and our insurance would cover the medicine.
As you might have guessed, Nick was accepted to the study and placed on photo pheresis. So, now we are once again traveling I40 east & west...2 to 3 times a week from July, 2012 thru January, 2013. Nick is feeling very well, and has even made the drive all by himself a couple of times. He is so ready to get back to normal life (whatever that is??????)
A couple of weeks ago I started following this Bible reading plan that takes you through the Bible in chronological order. I don't remember ever having read it through like that. So, I started. I am now in the book of Job. As you probably know, Job was a man who trusted God fully, and was extremely blessed in all that he did. God trusted in Job's character as well. As the story goes, one day satan asked God if he could test Job. The evil one believed that if all of Job's blessing were taken away he would curse God and turn away. So, God allowed Job to be tested, but stipulated that he could not harm Job physically. In a single day all of Job's children and possession were taken away, but Job did not sin. He simply trusted.
Seeing that he was a failure, satan once again asked God for permission to test Job. God granted the second request, but said that satan could not take Job's life. So, Job found himself covered in boils, rotted flesh, and being eaten upon by worms. Job's wife told him that he should just curse God and die, but Job remained faithful. Within the long story of Job's plight he was visited by a number of friends, and it is during such a visit, in the text, while a "friend" is telling Job that he really needs to get some wise counseling, that I found the following tidbit:
Job 8:13-15 (NIV) "Such is the destiny of all who forget God; so perishes the hope of the godless.
14 What they trust in is fragile; what they rely on is a spider's web. 15 They lean on the web,
but it gives way; they cling to it, but it does not hold."
This scripture jumped out at me like a flash of lightening..."Such is the destiny of all who forget God..."
I stopped reading and prayed and thought. Have there been times when I have focused on our plight instead of being encouraged by the victories? Yes. Have there been moments when it seemed like this time period of trial would never end? Yes. However, even though it has been very hard at times we have not forgotten Who has taken us through this valley, and blessed us in the midst of it. We have never leaned on God and found Him fragile...Oh no...to the contrary! He has been that immovable force, that rock, that shield, that presence that we can neither deny nor understand. Why did my son have to deal with cancer? I have no idea, but I do know one thing: We are not without hope! We will not forget! (O.k., maybe that's two things??)
Whatever it is that you are facing today...you do not have to be strong enough on your own...just please do not forget where your hope lies. Regardless of how it feels, you have not been forsaken. You are not being punished, and you are very much loved...right where you are. You may not feel strong enough to do much. So, just start by remembering.
It is well, and we will remember that!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
It's Wonderful
Nick and Amanda went to Vanderbilt today. They had a steady stream of healthcare professionals peeking their heads in Nick's room. Finally the doctor came in. Amanda described him as a middle eastern man to whom they had to listen closely in order to understand. They had both seen him before, and had trust in his abilities. They expected him to talk about this lab value or that medication, but Mandi said that all he could say was, "It's wonderful...it's wonderful...it's just wonderful..." Mandi said that it was all she could do to hold back tears as she watched this man who knows well the difference between medicine and miracle say, "It's wonderful."
After several minutes he went on to say that Nick is a well known young man. Nick replied, "So, I'm popular?" The doctor agreed and continued to tell them that the oncology department at Vanderbilt has a staff meeting every Friday. They gather to talk about their patients and glean wisdom from the gathering of wise counsel. He told him that there has not been one meeting where Nick's name has not been brought up. Even though his transplant was in January, and we came home April 25th, he continues to be talked about and have his case held up as hope for others who are facing the fight of their lives. It's wonderful!
As I said yesterday, I have started back reading the Psalms. Today I read Psalms 2 (and a number of other scriptures as I chased rabbit trails.) In Psalms 2 the writer is lamenting about the world leaders and warning them that they better align themselves with the Almighty. In the middle of chapter he also writes prophesy about Jesus being the Son of God as he states:
In John 17, Jesus does just that. He asks.............................
How many times in the Word does God tell us to ask, or knock, or seek? I don't know the answer to that, but the phrase, "a bunch of times", is surely close to accurate. The point is that God just wants us to ask.
I would imagine that each of you who are reading this blog have asked God for Nick's healing over the past year. Most of you do not know one another. You go to different churches. You sing different songs. You are young, old, and in between. You are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, some combination of the others, or something totally different. You live in different places on the globe, and speaks a multitude of different languages. However, you all came together as the Body of Christ during the last year and simply asked.
God honored the numerous requests and saw fit to make an example of Nick's case. At one of the most well know hospitals in the world, all they can say is....It's wonderful. Even if that doctor does not know who "Wonderful" is (YET), he at least knows that something is different about Nick.
My encouragement to you today is be bold and ask.
It is...........Wonderful
After several minutes he went on to say that Nick is a well known young man. Nick replied, "So, I'm popular?" The doctor agreed and continued to tell them that the oncology department at Vanderbilt has a staff meeting every Friday. They gather to talk about their patients and glean wisdom from the gathering of wise counsel. He told him that there has not been one meeting where Nick's name has not been brought up. Even though his transplant was in January, and we came home April 25th, he continues to be talked about and have his case held up as hope for others who are facing the fight of their lives. It's wonderful!
As I said yesterday, I have started back reading the Psalms. Today I read Psalms 2 (and a number of other scriptures as I chased rabbit trails.) In Psalms 2 the writer is lamenting about the world leaders and warning them that they better align themselves with the Almighty. In the middle of chapter he also writes prophesy about Jesus being the Son of God as he states:
7 “I will declare the decree:
The Lord has said to Me,
‘You are My Son,
Today I have begotten You.
8 Ask of Me, and I will give You
The nations for Your inheritance,
And the ends of the earth for Your possession.
The Lord has said to Me,
‘You are My Son,
Today I have begotten You.
8 Ask of Me, and I will give You
The nations for Your inheritance,
And the ends of the earth for Your possession.
In John 17, Jesus does just that. He asks.............................
How many times in the Word does God tell us to ask, or knock, or seek? I don't know the answer to that, but the phrase, "a bunch of times", is surely close to accurate. The point is that God just wants us to ask.
I would imagine that each of you who are reading this blog have asked God for Nick's healing over the past year. Most of you do not know one another. You go to different churches. You sing different songs. You are young, old, and in between. You are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, some combination of the others, or something totally different. You live in different places on the globe, and speaks a multitude of different languages. However, you all came together as the Body of Christ during the last year and simply asked.
God honored the numerous requests and saw fit to make an example of Nick's case. At one of the most well know hospitals in the world, all they can say is....It's wonderful. Even if that doctor does not know who "Wonderful" is (YET), he at least knows that something is different about Nick.
My encouragement to you today is be bold and ask.
It is...........Wonderful
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