A Flash Of Pink

I just want to share a happy with you all:

My Great Grandmother and Grandfather on my Dad's side, Granny and Grampy Bennett, lived on a working farm close to Benton, IL.  I have fond memories of riding the tractor, chasing the chickens, eating "sticky" popcorn, and finding dropped peacock feathers in the side yard.  Granny kept "pea fowl".  They would make the most awful noises, but they were beautiful.

When Granny passed, my Nana got a Christmas cactus that had been in Granny's parlor forever.  When Nana passed, I brought the cactus home.  I do not have a green thumb, but it really seems to love the spot that I happened to put it in my kitchen.  It has grown by leaps and bounds over the years, and I have had to re-pot it several times.  For years it would bloom at Christmas (hence the name "Christmas cactus") with the most beautiful bright pink flowers.  I would get so excited when I started seeing that hint of pink at the end of each of the deep, true green serrated stalks.  Then within a week or so it would be completely covered in fuchsia.  However, for the last two Christmases it has not bloomed....In fact...It has not bloomed since Nick got sick.

About an hour ago I walked in the kitchen and looked at the cactus, inspecting the branches as I often do.  When I stepped around the far side of the plant something caught my eye:  a flash of pink.  At the end of a single stalk there is a bloom.  It is not yet open, but in the next day or two it will stand out like a candle in the darkness.

I know that this may not sound like much to some of you, but it speaks volumes to me.  As soon as I saw the maturing bloom, I eyed the rest of the plant hoping to find more.  I guess that's what most people would have done.  When we get something that we have desired, it's human nature to want more.  However, I was almost instantly convicted that I really should be thankful for the gift of the day.

Most of this day has been less than stellar.  I let a lot of little things add up to steal my joy.  At one point I was angry for no real reason, and had to walk away before saying something that I knew I would regret.   However, this one little potential bloom has turned it all around.  How goofy is that?  That little pink nub has probably been there for days, but it didn't get brought to my attention until I really needed to see it.

I am thankful for this sweet little desire of my heart being fulfilled, and for the glorious God who brought it about.  It is well.

Our God Pays Attention

<sup>We went to clinic this morning, and Nick still has a low grade temp.  Today it was 99.9.  It's not really considered a fever until it gets to be 100.4 or more.  However, it's more than a degree over normal.  So, there is still something going on that is making him not so normal.  (Yes, I hear some of you saying, "He's not normal because he your son."  Well, that is probably true, but sharing my genetics should not skew his vital signs.) 

He has also started having more nausea, and he has all but lost his appetite.   So, tomorrow he will be having an endoscopy to take some biopsies from his upper GI tract.  He is not stoked at all about having to undergo this, but it should show whether or not he is having some Graft vs. Host reactions.  This could explain all of his symptoms.

If the biopsies are positive for Graft vs. Host (GVHD)  they will give him a higher dose of steroids for a short time, and it will all be better.  They told us today that they would have expected him to have much more GVHD at this point, but I'm not surprised.  For all of the difficult moments, this adventure, on whole, has really been fairly easy.  It is simply God's extreme faithfulness.

For those of you who have not seen my Facebook updates, the last couple of weeks have been challenging.  Nick has been out of the hospital; back to the E.R. the same night; back in the hospital; and now he is out.  He is certainly better than 2 weeks ago, but we are still awaiting answers.

As I started to write this afternoon, I immediately thought of a specific happening in the Old Testament.  King Ahab was married to Jezebel, the nasty queen who's life's mission was to kill the Prophets of God.  There had been a drought in the land for 3 years, and the situation was grave.  So God told the Prophet Elijah to go and present himself to King Ahab, and He would send rain.

As Elijah was on his way, he ran into Obadiah.  He was a faithful believer who worked for Ahab, and had risked everything to save and care for 100 of God's Prophets...even though his boss' wife wanted them dead.  When Obadiah saw Elijah, he recognized him immediately.  Elijah told Obadiah to go and tell his boss that Elijah wanted to see him, but that was not what Obadiah wanted to hear.  I imagine that he just rolled his eyes at Elijah and he basically said,"What have I done wrong?  Are you trying to get me killed too?  I can't go and tell Ahab that I have talked to you...or had anything to do with you.   Who knows where God will send you in the mean time.  Then when you are not around, Ahab will kill me dead.  Don't you know about those 100 guys I saved?"  Obadiah was freaking out, and he knew that this was not going end well.  However, Elijah re-assured him, and Obadiah did as he had been told.</sup>

^{I Kings 18 (NIV)}

¹⁶ So Obadiah went to meet Ahab and told him, and Ahab went to meet Elijah. ¹⁷ When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?” ¹⁸ “I have not made trouble for Israel,” Elijah replied. “But you and your father’s family have. You have abandoned the LORD’s commands and have followed the Baals. ¹⁹ Now summon the people from all over Israel to meet me on Mount Carmel. And bring the four hundred and fifty prophets of Baal and the four hundred prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table.”

^{So 850 of the false gods prophets showed up, along with countless people from all over Israel.  It was surely billed as the show down of the century.} 

 ²¹ Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”

 ^{Elijah told the 850 that they could get started by preparing a sacrifice, and that he would do the same.}

²⁴ Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD. The god who answers by fire—he is God.”  Then all the people said, “What you say is good.” ²⁵ Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose one of the bulls and prepare it first, since there are so many of you. Call on the name of your god, but do not light the fire.” ²⁶ So they took the bull given them and prepared it.

^{The false prophets hooted and hollered, cried and screamed, flailed about and cut themselves until they were nearly bleeding out.  Then the Bible says,  " there was no response, no one answered, no one paid attention."  They were awaiting an answer, but it was never going to come.  They carried on for the half a day, and Elijah had had enough.  He prepared an altar, cut up his sacrifice, and had it drenched with water...just to make sure that the people could see how miraculous it was going to be when God set it on fire.} 

  ³⁶ At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: “LORD, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. ³⁷ Answer me, LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.” ³⁸ Then the fire of the LORD fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. ³⁹ When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, “The LORD—he is God! The LORD—he is God!” 

God had answered powerfully and immediately, but how about that no rain for 3 years thing.  After the showdown, Elijah sent his servant to look toward the sea and report back about any rain clouds that he saw.  Over and over again the servant came back to report that the sky was as clear as a bell, but Elijah did not give up.  He knew that this God that he served was extremely faithful.  On the 7th time that the servant went to look, he returned with a report that he saw a cloud about the size of a man's hand.  That was all Elijah needed to hear.  He immediately sent word to Ahab that he had better head out because the roads were about to get washed away with the torrential rains.

On the same day...same Prophet...same God...One time there was an immediate answer, and one time he had to wait until the 7th time that he believed.  Even then, he only saw a tiny improvement across the horizon.

I see improvement, and I still believe.

It is well.

Patience...If It Were Easy, Everyone Would Be Doing It.

A dear friend of mine and I had an online discussion last night that sparked an internal conversation.  As we talked, she encouraged me that her family would continue to pray for wisdom and peace.  However, she further stated that they would not pray for us to have patience.  I agreed and we shortly discussed how patience should be a four letter word.  I told her that the faith part was easy, but that patience thing...well, that's another story.  Then I got to thinking.  Isn't that just one of the sweet things about our Heavenly Father.  He doesn't usually hit us over the head with things.  He prompts a dear friend to make a joke that nearly every christian has made before, and somehow, this time, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

At this point, I'm not sure that patience can be separated from faith.  I mean...without one...the other has little effect.  How valuable is it to have faith in God, but only if He operates in my timetable?  What other demonstration of faith do we have other than the patience that allows us to rest in His sovereignty?

I don't like needing patience (not one little bit), but the lack of it shows lack of faith...not only in God, but in our children, spouses, co-workers, students, etc.  Maybe we should stop considering "patience" a dirty word, and see that it is but one demonstration of love toward Him (and others) that He wants cultivated in our lives.

I need and desire for God and people to have patience with me.  So, I'm going to make a bold statement:  If you feel so led, pray for us to have patience.  It will only foster greater faith and God's intervention in our lives.  You might want to try it for yourself too.  (Just a suggestion.)

We are, by the grace of God, still awaiting answers to Nick's current difficulties.  Answers are coming, and it's all going to be O.K.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)

 ²² But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

It is well!

No-Brainer???

Nick is back in the hospital tonight.  Even though hypovolemia seemed like a no-brainer...voluminous fluids did not help.  So, fluid volume is not the problem.  He still has the headaches; blood pressure that drops when he sits or stands; and pulse that races when he sits or stands.  It is a quandary.

This is one of those times where I just need to keep my eyes open & my mouth shut while I wait for God to do His thing.  (It's O.K. to pray with your eyes open.)   I wish that I had the answer right now, but it's almost as good to be confident that the answer is coming.  I know in Whom I have believed...

It is well!

Keep Your Eyes Open And Don't Miss A Thing

Here we are at good old Vanderbilt.  Nick has been doing great.  He has just had some issues with headaches and dizziness over the last few days.  So, we came to the clinic yesterday, and are back today.  There are two theories about what might be going on:  either a drug interaction, or simple hypovolemia (dehydration.)  Even though we have been making sure that he is getting at least 2 liters of fluid per day, it may not be enough for him.  The doctor described it to Nick as if his body were a well oiled machine.  Chemo kind of threw a monkey wrench into the machine, and some spots may have gotten dented.  So, it takes a while for the dents to pop out.

This morning when he got up to leave, Nick nearly fainted. (Amanda fainted one time after an appendectomy.  It was all that I could do to bear her approximately 125 lbs.  If Nick actually faints I will just have to slow his descent to the floor and guard his head...no way I'll be able to keep him upright.)  When we got to the hospital they did what are called orthostatic vitals.  They checked his B/P & pulse in three position:  lying down, sitting up, and standing.  Lying down, everything was normal.  When he sat up his B/P dropped and his pulse went up.  When he stood up his B/P was not being registered on the machine and his pulse was in "danger danger Will Robinson" range.  The machine was registering his pulse at 216.

Let the scurrying begin!  A mass of people descended upon his room to do further assessments and hook him up to the heart monitor.  His heart was beating in a normal sinus rhythm, but it was just so very fast.  Within about a minute of him lying back down, his pulse was back to about 60 (normal, healthy range.)  This really does sound like hypovolemia.  So, we are going to have to keep him full to the brim with liquids.  He is getting a liter of normal saline as I type.

I have had a number of people ask if we were already at home because of the good reports.  The answer is, no.  He still has to be in Nashville until April 25th.  He is taking a number of medications...some of which lower his body's immune response so that his body does not reject the transplant.  Even though he is already completely converted to Amanda's DNA, his body was used to being Nick for 23 years.  So, we are staving off any rouge rebellions.  Because of this he needs to be close to Vanderbilt until the 100 days are finished.  He may get some furlough days at home before the 100 days is up, but only a few at a time.

We have witnessed, first hand, the glory of God in Nick's body.  I don't care one bit what anyone else might think to the contrary.  We have experienced miracle after miracle...no other way to explain it.  However, going through the last couple of days has been kind of odd.  Why is he having these new difficulties?

As I prayed about this this morning, I had a picture of Peter, James, & John on the Mt. of Transfiguration.  So I looked it up and re-read the scriptures.  We have to laugh at the antics of the disciples because they are no different than us.  Jesus led these three guys up to a mountain top to witness a miracle, but as soon as stuff started happening they began thinking with their carnal minds instead of just witnessing something that no one would ever get to see again.  Peter starts feeling uncomfortable and asks Jesus if he and his buds really need to be there.  (Like Jesus had made a mistake in inviting them.)  Then he starts trying to earn their presence by offering to make each of the three Prophets his own tabernacle.  They are obviously feeling out of place.  So, when they actually see what they came there to see, they fall out with terror. (Remember, these three guys had been actually living with Jesus for quite a while before this, and had seen Him do miracle after miracle for them and for others.)  Here are the scriptures that I am talking about:

     Matthew 1: 1-8 NKJV

      17 Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John his brother, led them up on a high mountain by   themselves; ² and He was transfigured before them. His face shone like the sun, and His clothes became as white as the light. ³ And behold, Moses and Elijah appeared to them, talking with Him. ⁴ Then Peter answered and said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, let us^[a] make here three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”

⁵ While he was still speaking, behold, a bright cloud overshadowed them; and suddenly a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. Hear Him!” ⁶ And when the disciples heard it, they fell on their faces and were greatly afraid. ⁷ But Jesus came and touched them and said, “Arise, and do not be afraid.” ⁸ When they had lifted up their eyes, they saw no one but Jesus only.

This is what I believe that God was speaking to me through this.  This little bump in the road does not diminish the miracles that we have already seen.  When God shows up in our lives and invites us to see something supernatural, it does not require us to earn it or even question it.  In fact, if we don't just choose to keep our eyes on Him, we may miss the experience while we think...or work...or fall on our faces in fear.  For reasons that I can not explain, we have gotten to witness so much.  So, from now on, when I sense the Lord saying," Come over here and watch this, "  I'm just gonna keep my eyes open, keep my mouth shut, and not miss a thing.  My goal is to not question the good ...or the bad...just believe.

I, you, and everyone else  needs to just BE STILL at times while He lets us KNOW that He is GOD.


It is well!  (So very well!)